Really struggling it's getting worse

I've just got a dishwasher because I can't bring my self to wash the pots after using the new dishwasher I want to wash it all again to make sure there's no residue of chemicals left 😫 I had to read the label didn't I.

I can't use bleach even in my toilet I can't clean with antibac wipes I can't even put petrol in my car I thought I would be able to do some things using gloves but nope I still have to wash my hands imeadiatly after 😭 my hands are really red and sore and i know I'm just making it worse but i cant stop I'm checking the seals on foods and drinks in case it's been poisond it's getting really ridiculous now and i dont know what to do nobody I know seems to understand and some have even laughed at me about it because I can't drink water from the kitchen tap our house was built in the 50s and has lead piping from the road coming into the house. I'm so concerned that I'm going to get poisond by something and because I'm breast feeding it's going to poison my baby and we are going to die I know alot of it is silly but to me its very real I don't know what to do someone please advise me this is a really crap situation right now 😔

Go and have a talk with your doctor. :)
And don't worry about the dishwasher, they rinse all the chemical away really well. X

I've tried to have a chat with my doctor but the she was useless she gave me a leaflet to self refer to a mental health team and i did I've got my first appointment on the 30th it will be a telephone apointment and will take over an hour so going to be fun trying to look after 4 kids at the same time. My mum is constantly making things worse saying I will get signed into a mental institute and have social services remove my children from me and my partner is going to give up on me and leave and it's time I grew up and got a grip 😭 I've got no support atall

Would your Mum look after the children while you had the telephone appointment? Maybe this first appointment is an assessment and you can explain your situation and they can work around that. Good luck