Feeling in such despair someone help me 😢😢

Around this time last year about an hour after a large BM I visited the loo for a wee to discover fresh blood dripping in the toilet bowl and from my bottom. It didn't last long but it has ruined my life. I have suffered with piles for years so am quite used to a small amount of blood after a tricky poo but this was different and no poo.

Various tearful visits to my gp, blood tests x2 i think and I'm sent packing saying its probably piles. Blood tests were ok. But I'm in such a state I paid to see a private gastroenterologist, he didn't seem concerned by my story but to be absolutely sure he recommended a flexible sigmoidoscopy on the nhs. I'm an utter mess I'm convinced I have bowel cancer and will leave my baby boy whos 5. I have the test and its clear. But my mind isn't, now my stomach is bad, I start getting cramps and having to run to the loo, bloating all symptoms of ibs. Gp again says yep ibs now try fodmap diet.

I follow the fodmap diet religiously and i get really good results but I'm still convinced its cancer. October I pay again to see a specialist, he says the exact same thing ibs dont worry. Really???? So i take it on board and except in a way ok ibs.

Everything feel apart about a month ago. Firstly its a year since it happened, a year for it to have grown got worse, plus I accidentally saw a tv interview with deborah james, a 35 year old with terminal bowel cancer. If it is not to much of a trigger for anyone read her story, buts of it i could of written even the cbt to help with health anxiety.

I'm in a complete spiral of despair and Tuesday theres a very high chance I'm going to pay another £250 to speak to a private consultant. The nhs wont help me they have told me so, no chance of a colonoscopy. But what if I'm right and i have got bowel cancer, i read on so meny forums how things started and two or three years later thats it, stuffed.

What do I do guys?
Have any of you experienced any thing like this?

If you have made it to the end of this awful post thank you very much ❤❤❤

huge trigger for me. just reading what you wrote. don't even need to go to article. sorry what you're going through.

I thought |I'd reply just because I can feel how you're feeling. I am in a panic about pins and needles at the moment but I have been where you are with Bowel issues and bleeding. I too have colonoscopy. It was clear. I honestly know why you are feeling as you are but objectively I can see that you have been checked out and it was almost certainly piles. You just have to somehow try and trust what you have been told. So much easier said than done. I know

How are your bowel movements? you mention its fresh blood, so its lower in the colon. For whatever its worth, yes I think it sounds like internal hems or something like that in the lower section. Generally a sign of constipation, so you don't want hard poops. I'm surprised your doctor wont give you a foam to help with the inflammation up there. For what its worth, probably not much, I would guess a big no to cancer. feel better.