Health anxiety and ODC - new here

Hello all. I joined this site in yet another attempt to get my ongoing health anxiety and self diagnosed OCD under control. I felt it was a better source to turn to than the doctor google wheel that I can’t seem to get off of. I have had anxiety for as long as I can remember. And probably OCD since a child, although it seems to have “flare ups” during more stressful times and those symptoms will subside sometimes. My mother and her entire family had serious illnesses. None of her or her siblings are alive today. I took care of my mother for 13 years while she battled ALS. So I am sure some of my health anxiety stems from those traumatic events in my life relating to health ailments. I believe I struggled with anxiety even before this though and it just generally manifested on health issues after dealing with those things in my life. I would likely be hyper focused on something else if it wasn’t health stuff. My symptoms were generally manageable for years. I would have a bad few weeks here and there if a “symptom” were to arise, but I could generally talk myself out of it after a while and move on. Ever since having a child, I have had symptoms that I’m unable to shake. For my child’s first year of life, my anxiety was focused on her. She did have some health issues during that time, so at least a portion of it wasn’t all in my head. Right after she turned 1, I went to the doctor for a general check up and complained of some general things that ended up causing the doctor to order some bloodwork. I have had thyroid issues in the past, so some of the tests she ordered included tests for autoimmune thyroid disease. All blood work came back normal except for one test. I had a positive ANA test which according to my doctor is a nonspecific marker of possible autoimmune issues. No further work up needed. After these results, of course the first thing I did was google. This led me down a rabbit hole of countless things. Since I don’t have typical symptoms of autoimmune disease, I looked to google for other reasons for getting a positive test - which includes cancer and all kinds of inflammation issues, etc. I think this test really kicked my health anxiety into complete overload because it has now been 2 years since the test and during that time, I have convinced myself that I have all kinds of horrible diseases. Just to name a few - breast cancer, colon cancer, lupus, stomach cancer, stomach ulcers, ALS, soft tissue cancer, liver disease, brain tumor, MS, ovarian cancer, skin cancer and many more. I know this is crazy. It seems even crazier when I type out just some of the things I have convinced myself I have. But in the moment, it all feels so real. I think I honestly end up looking to google for reassurance initially. I want to find something that puts my mind at ease about not having the disease. But I end up clinging on to the rare, unlikely horror stories instead. Stories about young people dying of cancer that is generally only diagnosed in older people...I convince myself I could be one of those unlucky 5% or whatever it may be. I know I can’t keep going on like this. I am making myself physically ill by worrying so much. And worse, when I become obsessed with a health issue, I end up googling and worrying and totally preoccupied for hours, days or weeks and I know that I am not giving my child the attention that she needs when I am so worked up. I am usually distracted enough at work to not focus on anxiety, but sometimes I when I am particularly worked up, my job suffers as well. I know I need to seek professional help. And I am working my way up to doing that. In my profession, I actually work with people who many times suffer with mental illness and I end up telling all of them the importance of getting help and treatment for their condition, but I myself have failed to take my own advice. I am looking to meet others who suffer with similar health anxiety/OCD issues in an attempt to gain support and tips and tricks that may help. Thanks for listening!

Hiya healthnut22 and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and
are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and
support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

Welcome to NMP :)

Dealing with OCD can be challenging at times, I know that all too well, myself. Some days are worse than others. I've learned to not feed into the urges to obsess about things I've no control over.

Best of luck seeking professional help. Don't get discouraged if the first therapist isn't a good fit for you, don't give up easily. I've been through several therapists, and it was only just recently I (think) I've finally found someone that 'gets me'.

Take good care !!

That’s great you found someone who is a good fit! I can imagine that makes all the difference as there is certainly no one size fits all when it comes to OCD. I have read that CBT is generally the preferred method. Has that been your experience? The control thing is definitely a huge part of my OCD. I tend to dwell on the things I can’t control because it is scary to me that I can’t control them. And then that is where the OCD comes in because it gives me an odd sense of control even though I know deep down it is not control, it is mental illness.

Hi and welcome, healthnut :welcome:

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Originally Posted by healthnut22

That’s great you found someone who is a good fit! I can imagine that makes all the difference as there is certainly no one size fits all when it comes to OCD. I have read that CBT is generally the preferred method. Has that been your experience? The control thing is definitely a huge part of my OCD. I tend to dwell on the things I can’t control because it is scary to me that I can’t control them. And then that is where the OCD comes in because it gives me an odd sense of control even though I know deep down it is not control, it is mental illness.

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Thanks!! As I said, it took me a while going through countless therapists to find someone that (actually) listens and responds correctly and appropriately. In the past, most of them seemed to me as if they were reading off a sheet with textbook responses. The new therapist and I 'click' and for that reason, I'm both able to open up more and feel like I'm being given advice that I can use. Like I said, don't get discouraged if at first, it seems fruitless, don't be afraid to therapist shop.

Yes.. CBT is very helpful and the only way besides medication to start to correct the destructive and counterproductive thoughts and thinking pattern(s). It sounds scary to people, but, it really doesn't take much; just simple changes in routines and breaking some habits that provoke our OCD. Don't get me wrong, its not easy, and sometimes it feels like your not winning the fight, be patient and there will be setbacks - its a tough skill to master. Its all too easy to dwell (obsess) about things we've no control. I still do it at times. I'm learning to not feed into the urges as I once did. Meditation is also very helpful to me when it comes to dealing with my OCD. Let the urges pass rather than fight them. Dismiss them as quickly as you are able to recognize them, even that will take you time.

OCD is a beast - no doubt! The best hope we have is to better control it, or should I say, not allow it to control us.

Good luck and you can start to take back that control if you're willing to make some easy and simply behavioral changes. Start off easy and you'll be surprised at what a difference just putting a different spin on situations will make.

~Sal

Hello, I am new here too. I have just signed up. I have suffered with health anxiety for years. I've also got a phobia of deadly diseases aka hiv so wheneer I get a symptom, no matter how small, I think its down to that. I've never had one night stands or done drugs and been with the same man for ages but it's a phobia so it's seems to be whatever I get whether it's pain in my leg or anything I get worried it's something like that. Would be nice to meet like minded Individual knowing I'm not alone.

I am 27 years old. Love cats lol