Feeling Alone

Well it's been a hell of a long time since I have been on No More Panic but here goes!

Not sure if this should be in social anxiety section but not sure where else to post. Basically I am a recently married man so I definitely can't say I am alone. However tonight I am sitting alone feeling fed up while my wife is round a friend's house. The problem is apart from her I really have nobody there for me. I have less than 5 friends and they all live far away so I see them very rarely. I work in an office with just 3 other people and although I really enjoy working with them we have never really had an outside of work friendship. They have their own lives and in my boss's case he has loads of friends to the point where he probably doesn't need more.

Both me and my wife moved to a new part of the country 2 years ago for work reasons so both of us didn't know anyone. However as mentioned I work in a very small office whereas she works for a huge company where there are opportunities to meet people. Naturally she has been able to make some close new friends and has therefore got a reasonable social life. At least once a week she might be out one evening where I will be stuck in alone just like I am tonight. It's starting to really drag me down and I can't see how things will change. I know it's easy to say "get a hobby" or "join a club" but I have always been nervous about speaking to new people and I am still taking Citalopram for anxiety which I have been on for many years now. I just wondered if any other people have had a similar experience whether in a relationship or not? Did you manage to make new friends and if so how? Sorry for the long post but really feel like I have no one to talk to about it.

Yes I can totally relate. I am a 20yr old female and once I finished college I started working full time but that has made it so that I’ve lost a lot of the friendships I had in college just through loosing touch and now I have about 8 good friends that I rarely see. However I think that’s by my own choice because I prefer being at home and by myself when my anxiety is really bad. Anyways my recommendation would be to suggest to your work collegues that you all go out for a drink or for a meal or something, that may give you a chance to break the barrier between colleagues and friends. I also wonder if your wife’s friends have husbands/partners? Because she could arrange a night out where everyone brings their husband and therefore you would get to meet all of those new people as well. I don’t know if any of that advice is helpful but it’s worth a shot! Hang in there it won’t be like this forever. Try to think of the positives, you seem happy in your job and happy in your marriage and those are two things to be very grateful for :)

Do you have a local pub or any activities going on in the area you can get involved when i say local you dont have to have a pint but a orange juice or what not even passing the local once a week will get you in the loop with the locals and from there strike a conversation.

Good luck and get out there