There is no self or individuality. Only emptiness.

We are nothing but empty machines following our genetic programming and our environment programming. This is something that science and buddhism have proven to be true. We have no self. It is a lie. I tried so hard to find counter arguments to this but found none. It is the truth. We are nothing but soulless copycats that just copy what other biological machines do. We have no originality. We just copy. Originality is also a lie. We copy behaviors from our parents and friends. We do not originate. We are nothing.

This realization leaves me feeling nothing but hollow emptiness. I don't know how or why to bother continue existing in this world. I do not really exist. I'm a just a machine just like everyone else. I have been near emotionless for many years. The only time I feel something more than a slight ring of emotion is when I take Ambien at night to help me sleep. For some reason Ambien gives feelings back to me and it feels good but I can't abuse medicine that is meant to make me fall asleep.

Even if I had my feelings back it would not help me cope with the illusion of the self. I would still be a hollow machine following programming. And as for individuality, as I said nothing we do is original. We need other biological machines to survive. No man is an island. And so we conform to society and relationships and lose ourselves in them. We are basically a hive mind. We don't exist as individuals, we are components to a superorganism known as humanity.

I have been awakened to the reality of existence and now I just want to sleep. Sleep is the only time I am at peace and feel something

Reading Buddhist scripts can be depressing and whereas they may have very logical foundations, many Buddhist monks have spent years meditating on emptiness and trying to reach enlightenment. Even though Buddhism is based in absolute reality, they value happiness as the main reason for humans being here. At our core happiness and helping others are our main reason for being here in this lifetime.

I suggest you get beyond the analytical (get out of your head) and start doing positive things for yourself, as well as helping others. If you have depression you may need to see a Dr and get some medication for it.

Sorry to hear that you are going through this. I was just about to post a topic that I feel is in the same vein as this.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how we are all just basically brains full of chemicals. Love is just chemical reactions that help us bond with other humans to procreate/not feel alone etc. I hate that I’ve started to think like this but feel that I’ve learned “the truth” and the world and feelings are just cheapened now. I hate this feeling and wish I could just go back there before.

I wonder if these thoughts bother me because of depression? I feel a bit better when i try and just forget and enjoy my life but it’s like a black cloud that ruins my life. I’m sorry I’m not helping but just wanted you to know that you’re not alone- even if I’m not feeling exactly how you are, I feel they are related.

I'm so sorry you cant shake these thoughts :hugs:

I struggled with this when I got interested in Buddhism. But for me personally it’s not true. I did ayahuasca and saw a glimpse of what I am underneath it all and yeah some of it was a bit scary, but I believe what we are in incomprehensible.

Some of the ideas may seem to work. But I see individuality in everyone even though they may follow behavioural patterns.

Hope you feel better soon

If there was no originality or personality then people like Ghandi, Mother Theresa and Einstein would never have impacted the world like they had. Nothing would have ever changed. Societies wouldn't have evolved, nothing would have been invented. Of course we learn behaviours etc from other people, society, the media etc. That doesn't define us or mean that.

Everyone is connected for sure, but not in a mindless hive as you seem to imply. I don't think you've looked hard enough for a contradiction to your beliefs because there are many.

Do yourself a favour. Go and speak to a doctor about medication. Also, if being still and quiet has led you to this hopeless realisation then I'd be inclined to believe that when you're brain is busy and active it is repressing these feelings of depression and lack of self. They will have existed in you before this to have resonated so deeply. Go and find a good therapist to get to the bottom of it.

Sending love,
E. X