Secondary tokophobia

I have always suffered with GAD, but after the birth of my daughter last year, I am now terrified of getting pregnant again. In a nutshell, she was born with Down syndrome, which isn’t the issue, but her health complications in utero caused me to have a very traumatic birth experience where my life was in danger. She was born in Nov and my cycles resumed in February. As soon as they did, I started freaking out every single month about becoming pregnant again. Even though I wasn’t engaging in anything risky with hubby. In April he had a vasectomy and in July got the “all clear”. But also in July I had a very light period, and since then, I’ve been anxious every day that I somehow I got pregnant before his test. Mind you, we diligently used condoms without any accidents till the doctor gave him the green light, so theoretically, pregnancy is practically impossible. Also, I’ve had zero pregnancy symptoms! Which is why all this feels so nuts :( And please don’t suggest I take a test. I don’t even think that would ease my mind, but rather play into the obsession. Anyway, next cycle coming soon, and I’m already convinced it won’t come and I’ll find out I’m pregnant. This seems so ridiculous to even type, but the fear feels so real. So I’m reaching out to this board for some support. You’ve helped me in the past, I’m hoping someone on here can simply understand what I’m feeling and offer me a shoulder :(

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