adhd and my relationship

Well I have adhd, just started seeing a doctor last week. He started me on ritalin.

so I've taken the first step by trying to get help, and I know it takes time, but times like this, its terrible hard for me.

My girlfriend, lives 1000 miles away from me. We had lived together for 2 years, I screwed up big time...long story short I cheated on her.

I love this girl with all my heart, and she really does love me too. I don't deserve a second chance, but she is willing to give it to me anyway.

Basically the root of the problems in our relationship, is my inablility to give her space...its like if im not talking to her on the phone or instant messages, my brain starts to think she doesn't want to talk to me, even though thats the farthest thing from the truth. Then, When Im able to think rationally, I fall into this self-pity loop, because I feel like I failed her again.


And you can guess what happens, I go on and on and on, until she gets so aggrivated with me that she doesn't want to talk to me, she says she doesn't want to say something she'll regret. I understand that, as hard as it is for me.

And its not the long distance thing, even when we lived together I had the same problem.

A little bit about myself I'm 32, I live at home with my folks, I have problems finding a job, basically a big mess right now. and I get so angry with myself when I push her away like that.

I've already identified one trigger <spending too much time online trying to talk to her :D and so I'm going to avoid that at all costs :)

I guess I just need advice on what teqniques might help me. I mean its almost like I feel like im going to lose her no matter what I do. I know Its time for me to step up to the plate, grow up and be a man. I just need some help getting there.

p.s. she asked me to visit for christmas, I said yes, got the ticket in my hand, even so we had a bad night last night, and Im scared shes not going to want me to visit now.

Any advice would be....helpful

Full of hope for the future, but scared.

Andy

Firstly your girlfriend must really love you to give you a second chance, she obviously has faith in your relationship to get over her hurt and forgive you. I can understand why you feel you need to talk to her alot you must want to feel close to her and reassured that everything is okay. But it must become too intense for her sometimes. So try to wait until she calls or contacts you, then you'll know she is in the mood to talk and the chances are you'll have a better conversation and feel good about it afterwards.And ofcourse just because your not in contact 24/7 doesn't mean shes not thining of you. Everyone needs space. It must be very hard living away from her but they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder.You shouldn't feel like you've failed her if she didn't love you then I truly believe she would not have forgiven you. And ofcourse you should go and visit her, christmas is a time to be with your loved ones, I'm sure you'd feel so much better for seeing her. I don't know if this has been any help, but you really should relax and appreciate what you've got and enjoy christmas. Take Care.


Sarah x x

Yeah, thank you sara, I read what you posted, and that relaxed me for the night :)

Woke up this morning, low and behold, she sends me an im.....

quote = so you doing better? i was at my head again last night,i dont know sorry i guess.anyway still waiting for social secrity to call back so ill be on aim when ya wake,love ya lots ,talk to you whne your up

so all that worrying for nothing. ahh well, live and learn.

Thanks again Sarah.

Hugs,

Andy

Aww Your welcome hun I'm so glad your feeling better about things. If you ever need to chat just pm me. take care.

Sarah x x

I don't get it. Do you think you have social anxiety? Is it your ADHD that makes you not work?

If nothing else...I will survive.

To: SSJHSMH-You are light and my heart and strength. I will protect you in this life or the next always.