I know I'm posting again but I'm worried about my eyes

My last eye appointment was 2 years ago, everything was fine.
I went to the opticians before that as well as I noticed I had a larger pupil on one side than the other, he said my eyes were also okay and it's only an issue if they don't restrict.

Well I've been shining lights in my pupils to make them shrink down, and they do shrink but sometimes it isn't instantly, it's not like an instant thing that's super fast. Is that normal?
My friend is going through some eye issues at the moment and it's brought my own anxiety back about my eyes. I've recently been put on 40mg of Citalopram which I'm sure has made my pupils appear larger than normal.
I just want to know if I'm worrying for nothing or if it's normal

Add this to your other thread Chlobo, so that people understand the background (26 pages of it) and how you've moved from one thing to the other. There is context on there about all of this, along with some replies about your eyes - AND I told you that on your other thread that adrenaline itself causes pupil dilation. You are starting again exactly what caused you 'weeks of hell' (in your words) about Breast Cancer. It could be about eyes, breasts, knees, veins......all the same issue. You are starting self testing (which can't be good for your eyes anyway) and obsession in exactly the same way as before, and before, and before and before. The same advice applies from the previous thread.

All the above and remember that you did say that you were committing to therapy. You won't be helping your friend either. How can you support her if you are focusing on yourself as a result of her eye issues?

I know it's one thing after another 😢 I just feel so vulnerable right now.
I looked at my daughters pupils and compared mine in the kitchen this evening, my pupils are bigger than hers in the same light.
Is that normal? Are everyone's pupils meant to be the same?

You are going deep down the rabbit hole again and it needs to stop.

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Originally Posted by nomorepanic

You are going deep down the rabbit hole again and it needs to stop.

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But do you think what I've said is okay?
I need to be strict with myself and stop doing the obsessive behaviour but all this stuff with my friend has really upset me and made me feel so anxious again. I keep comparing my pupils and shining lights in them. It's just making me panic, I really don't have the mental strength to go to the opticians right now

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Originally Posted by pulisa

All the above and remember that you did say that you were committing to therapy. You won't be helping your friend either. How can you support her if you are focusing on yourself as a result of her eye issues?

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I'm pushing it aside as much as I can, and yes I am committed, this is a very hard one to push aside because of my brother, it's bringing back these awful feelings and memories and panic

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Originally Posted by Carys

Add this to your other thread Chlobo, so that people understand the background (26 pages of it) and how you've moved from one thing to the other. There is context on there about all of this, along with some replies about your eyes - AND I told you that on your other thread that adrenaline itself causes pupil dilation. You are starting again exactly what caused you 'weeks of hell' (in your words) about Breast Cancer. It could be about eyes, breasts, knees, veins......all the same issue. You are starting self testing (which can't be good for your eyes anyway) and obsession in exactly the same way as before, and before, and before and before. The same advice applies from the previous thread.

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Thank you carys. I would but I'm
Worried people won't be able to see it as much.
And yes it's an obsession, a bad one at that. With the same checking as before.
I have to be strict with myself, the issue is you can always see your eyes in my house, mirrors and windows everywhere.

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But do you think what I've said is okay?

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This is reassurance seeking. What should you have learnt about that from your other thread ?

You had absolutely NO CONCERN about your eyes or pupils until hearing of your friend's medical referral. Doesn't that tell you something ?

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Originally Posted by Chlobo

I'm pushing it aside as much as I can, and yes I am committed, this is a very hard one to push aside because of my brother, it's bringing back these awful feelings and memories and panic

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But as Carys says....you had forgotten all about this when you were convinced you had breast cancer. It's important to acknowledge this.