Severe panic and depersonalisation- feel very low

Hello all,

This is my first post. I've felt very lonely recently with all these anxiety issues and wanted some advice and support from people who understand. I've suffered with anxiety issues off an on for the last 10 years- I'm now 29. I felt absolutely fine until about 10 days ago when out of the blue (and without any apparent trigger) I started feeling awful. I've always believed I suffer with depersonalisation and derealisation although as yet I haven't had it officially diagnosed. I feel like my head enters a different place, a different state and I feel really unwell with it. It's distressing for me because the world becomes very strange through my eyes, like all sense of connection has broken down. I have strange symptoms which no one around me seems to understand. I find that sometimes when I'm talking I feel like the words coming out of my mouth don't make any sense, almost like I'm drunk. I also find that people and familiar faces look somehow altered and this is so distressing for me. I can still recognise people but they look weird and this makes me panic because I feel like I'm losing touch with reality and gradually dissolving into insanity. Depersonalisation also makes you turn inwards, you obsess about your thoughts and feelings, you analyse them and try to make sense of them and I find that when I'm in this depersonalised state my thoughts can become very disturbing and upsetting. I would generally describe myself as a fun loving lady, someone with a lot of zest for life, but this problem is very debilitating. I also have really severe night time panic attacks which are so terrifying I've nearly driven myself to A and E because I've been in such a state. I tend to feel like I'm going to collapse and I feel like I'm losing my mind, like I'm losing all connection with reality. I also find during this night time attacks that my thoughts become very frantic and distressing. Sorry to write such a long first post, but please get in touch if you recognise any of these symptoms, it would be nice to speak to others so we are not alone.

Hi thinkpink

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

Hello, :welcome:
You are definatitely experiencing derealisation or depersonalisation as a result of your anxiety. I can totally identify with what you've said.
Everyone's accounts of DP is different, we all have varying symptoms, I've even been in such a state I couldn't see very much at all and colours just faded.
You will get lots of help here, this is a great forum :)

Hi and welcome to NMP :welcome:

hi.i suffer from derealisation badly. i understand more the way that pancho describes it i just want to know is there a cure. i feel so spaced out all the time it stops me going out with friends. working. having a normal life. i wake up in the morning and i feel like please just go back to sleep because the best way i can put it is my dreams feel more real than my normal everyday life. i want some general support. do you know any where in the uk that can help. x

Hi Ricky and ThinkPink

I too have dp/dr but I feel I am slowly coming out of it. Whilst I still have some issues with questioning my reality the actual feeling of dp/dr is now very low so I hardly notice it.

The first thing you must understand is you are not ill, it is a horrible symptom of anxiety and nothing more, it cannot hurt you. Your mind has just become far too tired with something, be it worrying about something far too much, an embrassment that you keep hidden or something happened in the past you have repressed.

Ricky what you must do is not let the dp/dr stopyou from living your life, the more you concentrate on it the longer it will stay as you increase your anxiety worrying over it. There is no cure because you are not ill, you need to let your mind recover and stop being anxious.

ThinkPink, you are not going crazy and you dont feel a connection to the world/people as your mind has gone into protective mode and so your senses are not working as well as they should and so you feel disconnected and the brain translates this sensation into all sorts of horrible reasons why (ie:you dont exist). You will feel like you are losing yourself, like you are slipping away, like you are observing yourself, all of this is the anxiety taking over they are not rational thoughts. Let the rational side of your brain challenge the irrational thoughts by saying "I feel this because of my anxiety dp/dr, nothing more it cannot harm me" and then do something to take your mind off it, like read a book, play a computer game, learn to play a new instrument etc.

When you have dp/dr it is important to let your mind get some rest time from worrying thoughts, occupy your mind with something other than worry and when a negative intrustrusive thought enters your head challenge it then forget it and move on, and when you are feeling dp/dr allow yourself to feel like that and take the fear of the symptom away. All this is very hard to do as it is a weird feeling, but by accepting it and not fighting it we slowly give it less power over us, just like when we have a cold we dont worry over it we just live with it and continue.

It is vital to continue to live your life, force yourself out with friends no matter how you feel, it is hard to start off with but it will get easier and you will again learn to enjoy things. DP/DR will fade slowly over time and your anxiety will reduce. It is also important to find out what caused the initial anxiety, go see a therapist there is no shame in this, but make sure they know of dp/dr, mine does and is helping me through this.

Here are some books/courses I use/used and have helped me greatly:

dpmanual.com/ - very useful in helping you understand the condition which is a major tool to recovery. Book, Useful audio book and videos on youtube. Recovered dp sufferer

thelindenmethod.co.uk/ - not specifically a dp/dr guide but he does mention and helps you with anxiety overall. Useful for anxiety and other symptoms related to it. Large support network to people who buy the course, also runs anxiety retreats. Recovered anxiety sufferer who expirenced dp/dr

anxietynomore.co.uk/ - Brilliant site with a very readable book with case studies, with a large section on DP/DR. Runs a blog which is very useful, good place to post comments after and get responses from sufferers and ex sufferers. Recovered anxiety and DP/DR sufferer.

ronniefreedmanphd.com/- a Councillor/therapist who has recovered from DP/DR anxiety, expensive but very detailed recovery course which includes a recovery diet, audio tapes on specific parts of dp/dr. Also runs therapy sessions, although in US so most likely a text based session, again not cheap but has helped thousands recover. Recovered therapist from anxiety and extreme dp/dr.