How my brain messes up my heart 🤷🏼*♀️

Hi all. I’ve been on and off this forum over the last few years but was genuinely in a better place with my HA. Less freaking out, more meh it’s probablt fine.
BUT! My lovely friendly brain (🙄) has decided it wants a new thing to worry about. So now that I’m ok when my heart rate is faster it’s decided to latch on to the times it is slower..... actually can’t believe that I am worrying about this 🤦🏼*♀️
So I have an Apple Watch, had a HR Fitbit before hand and I have always had a reading in the 40’s during the day several times a month.... and it sits low, sometimes in the 50’s when I’m sat still watching tv sometimes.
But this last week I’ve been stressing myself that the 40’s readings mean my heart is failing. Which then sets off body scanning and deciding that I actually feel tired or fatigued etc.
I know other people who have readings that low occasionally and I know that it’s been like this the whole time I have had a HR watch (4 years) so why can’t I shake it off this week?
It’s so frustrating because I have been generally doing great for months, I’ve been helpin a couple of friends with their anxiety and health anxiety and been able to squish any odd thoughts before they fully take hold.
I know the first thing will be to say not to have the HR on and I do switch it off when I’m feeling really bad, but it actually helps me more when I’m stressing about it all. Also I can get s rough idea what my HR is from feeling my pulse (I have that much practise 😂).
I just wish I could stop the heart fear. I think all of this stems from my granda being suddenly and pretty traumatically when I was 9, which then set my dad off into a breakdown. I was always a bit of a worrier but it really
Solidified into health based by the time I started secondary school at 12.
I used to worry that I had an aneurysm, or bleed on my brain, because my grandad died from that. Until I was in my mid 20’s and found out that he had an aortic aneurysm which is when I switched to be main fear being my heart. I’ve been checked out (including a 3am ambulance ride 2 1/2 years ago) and sometimes I’m fine and don’t worry and can exercise and others i am utterly convinced that my heart is about to fail and I am about to collapse and die.
Doesn’t help that I live on my own so figure if anything happened no one would know 🤦🏼*♀️
Haha sorry for the huge post! Think I needed to let it out!

A heart rate in the 50s is low, but if it's in a rest period and you do regular exercise (particularly endurance exercise) it isn't a cause for concern. As you have a Fitbit, I'm assuming you do. If not, then ​you should get to a doctor.

I'm in the same boat with regards to the origin of HA: a grandmother died relatively young because she didn't go to the doctors with her symptoms, and it's lodged deep within my brain (triggering myself, because **** HA) that every little thing is a cause for panic and an appointment. Obviously, that isn't true, and most of the time even things that can be symptoms of serious diseases are totally benign. It always feels like not panicking is to take too much of a risk.