I've been in a pretty good place lately, I mean probably the best in 2 years. I've been able to talk myself out of lots of different things before my mind goes to intrusive thoughts that take over and send me down the deep dark hole.
For the past two days I feel like I'm heading down that path and I'm trying so hard to stop myself. I'm so trying to see what triggered this. This weekend I found out that a little boy who I knew wasn't doing good ended up dieing of liver cancer. His parents were friends of friends, then I found out that a family friend was just diagnosed with breast cancer and now the cancer thoughts are starting to consume me once again.
My little three year old was having tough night last night before bed and I asked her if anything hurt and she said her side did. She pointed to her left hip area, same area that hurt her back in early October when I had a complete meltdown thinking she had leukemia because of leg pain. Now here I am again, leg pain for me always goes straight to leukemia. Because our friends daughter had pain and a limp for two weeks and she eneded up having leukemia.
Please help me stop this. These are my thoughts right now...."should I have taken her to the doctor way back in October for the leg pain that she only had for two days?" "If it is cancer I'm sure it has spread by now so badely and she is doomed". "Why didn't I just take her to the doctor".
