Feels like anxiety is physically killing me.
I developed a condition called "Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome" likely due to a lifetime of tensing my pelvic floor muscles -- anxiety, panic, stress.
It's messing up so many things in my life, when things were already really hard for me to manage.
Now I have a hard painful nodule under my ear to go along with the tinnitus and ear pressure I've been having for months.
I think my anxiety is killing me.
And if it isn't, it's making me wish it were.
Despite this, I've managed my actual panic symptoms well through meditation and things of the sort. But I can't shake my depression. I just kind of hate existing right now. I wake up unhappy to be awake. I want whatever this all is to be over. If things aren't going to get better, but worse... What's the point.
Re: Feels like anxiety is physically killing me.
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Originally Posted by
StarsDie
I think my anxiety is killing me.
It isn't.
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And if it isn't, it's making me wish it were.
Anxiety can't kill you.
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Despite this, I've managed my actual panic symptoms well through meditation and things of the sort. But I can't shake my depression. I just kind of hate existing right now. I wake up unhappy to be awake. I want whatever this all is to be over. If things aren't going to get better, but worse... What's the point.
I understand where you're coming from because I have multiple physical conditions (aside the long list of MH ones) and as hard as I try to help myself, there are still times when pain gets the better of me and I wonder what the point is too. Then the pain eventually subsides and I wake up to a better day and something else - hope.
When it comes to chronic pain, you have my empathy. Nobody can understand how soul destroying this can be unless they've experienced it, and for a long time.
I'm used to my depressive phases. They come on after the fibro flares and to be honest, because my norm is to exist on a very high level of anxiety - the depressive phases give me a rest from the hyper shit. I can finally cry for a start. But if the weeks were to stretch into months then I'd be asking for help with it. Are you asking for help with how you feel?
What support are you getting with your conditions?
Are you on medication? If so, are you on the right ones?
Do you do any physiotherapy?
Anxiety isn't killing you. The opposite is the case because anxiety involves the fight or flight response which is there to save our lives. It's the depression that you need to be concentrating on at the moment and I have a feeling that you're not being supported as effectively as you could be?
Re: Feels like anxiety is physically killing me.
I suppose what I mean when I say that anxiety is killing me, is that it's causing physical problems for me. Anxiety can cause heart problems and muscle problems and nerve problems etc. An anxious body is a body that is more likely to become ill.
"What support are you getting with your conditions?"
Not much currently. Occasionally I talk to a couple of family members. But our personalities don't gel all that much, so our interactions are limited on the phone and through text. And my girlfriend who I live with doesn't handle my anxiety and depression well, so I don't tend to talk to her about it much.
I see my doctor on Thursday and am looking to get a referral to a therapist.
"Are you on medication? If so, are you on the right ones?"
I had been on occasion using low doses of xanax, usually just to help me sleep. But I recently decided to cut off all benzo usage. I really just don't want to mess with them. I suspect they may have done more harm than good for me these past few months.
I take some supplements. Like melatonin and L-Theanine and magnesium and stuff like that instead.
With my chronic pain I am curious about possibly taking a muscle relaxant like flexeril.
"Do you do any physiotherapy?"
I have plans to find a pelvic floor therapist.
Re: Feels like anxiety is physically killing me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
StarsDie
I suppose what I mean when I say that anxiety is killing me, is that it's causing physical problems for me. Anxiety can cause heart problems and muscle problems and nerve problems etc. An anxious body is a body that is more likely to become ill.
Anxiety is a very PHYSICAL (and normal) response to danger that's real or imagined.
Anxiety is less of an concern in an otherwise healthy heart. There are heart symptoms with anxiety - and they're unpleasant - but not dangerous. The same with muscles. It's all to do with fight or flight and the release of stress hormones. I don't know what it's like NOT to function on some level of anxiety, and my 'norm' is high. But after five decades of constant fight or flight triggering - my heart is still healthy. Maybe this is because I am working with what my body needs instead of against it? Undoubtedly, long-term anxiety disorders create imbalance in the system but the human body is stronger than we give it credit for and there are many ways in which we can help ourselves. And here lies the problem with a lot of people because they carry on drinking, smoking, and eating junk food instead of easing up on on the crap and giving themselves a helping hand. An overstimulated system doesn't need any more stimulation.
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"What support are you getting with your conditions?"
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Originally Posted by
StarsDie
Not much currently. Occasionally I talk to a couple of family members. But our personalities don't gel all that much, so our interactions are limited on the phone and through text. And my girlfriend who I live with doesn't handle my anxiety and depression well, so I don't tend to talk to her about it much.
By support, I also mean therapy. And then it's a case of how understanding the therapist is? Understanding through living (or having lived) with an anxiety disorder is a world away from understanding through education..
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I had been on occasion using low doses of xanax, usually just to help me sleep. But I recently decided to cut off all benzo usage. I really just don't want to mess with them. I suspect they may have done more harm than good for me these past few months.
Very wise in my opinion. sleeping pills can be useful in the short-term, say after a trauma or shock, but certainly not long-term as the brain comes to rely on them and it becomes lazy..
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I take some supplements. Like melatonin and L-Theanine and magnesium and stuff like that instead.
Did your GP prescribe the melatonin? In Blighty it's generally only prescribed to people aged 55 and over. One of the side effects is that it can cause (or increase) anxiety.
The best way, imo, with sleep issues is to re-train the brain. I had severe insomnia for a few years and managed to get back to a semi-normal sleep pattern without any medication at all - mostly because I have MCS and can't take most drugs. I say semi-normal because I have fibromyalgia and most fibromites have a Alpha/Delta sleep anomaly where they keep waking up throughout the night and rarely reach the deep & restful sleep stage.
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With my chronic pain I am curious about possibly taking a muscle relaxant like flexeril.
Muscle relaxants are generally used for acute pain rather than chronic..
How about some hydrotherapy as well as physiotherapy? I strongly suggest that you follow through with your plan to find a pelvic floor therapist. I had physio with a pelvic issue of mine last year and it helped enormously and seeing as I was unable to take medication to ease the pain - it was my only option so I gave it my all and it paid off. I went from having to use a walking stick to walking normally in a few months of doing the exercises, but it hurt like hell to start with!
