Citalopram diary - Day 15 - Here we go!

Day 25

Woke up this morning with some chest pains and felt a bit breathless and this caused a panic attack, please do not start the vicious cycle again, I can feel myself being dragged down slightly but got to stay positive. I full on thought I was having a heart attack this morning and its so hard to tell yourself its a panic attack when you have health anxiety about your heart anyway. The attack passed now but feel a little bit foggy and anxiety is a bit higher then the last couple of days and my spirits arent so high but I will see how i go throughout the day, hopefully i feel better in a bit.

Hi Mate,

have you considered upping your dose to 30? maybe it would help ease those feelings?

hi Iggy,

Yea i have been thinking about it, i just want to get to about 5 weeks on 20mg and see how i am then, as I feel it has only kicked in over the last few days so want to see how i feel with the 20mg. I dont like being on an anti depressant at all so dont want to go down the route of upping my dose just yet lol. Im still dizzy and lightheaded everyday aswell and hopeing this will go away soon.

Update:

So today hasnt been as positive as the last couple of days. Im not back to non stop anxiety but I do feel very strange all the time and have had on and off surges of near panic attacks throughout the day, i think the panic attack this morning and yesterday just knocked me a bit.

So been trying to keep my mind occupied but ive got a weird fuzzy head, feel foggy, light headed and dizzy so its quite hard and the anxiety has been creeping in more and more. I also have a sort of pulsing pressure head ache that seems to increase when I stand up. Also my eye pupils are doing there usual random uneveness, even the shape of one of them looks more oval then round now which freaks me out. All this has obviously convinced me I have something serious wrong with me again so im back to analyzing all my symptoms. Im still calmer then I was a few weeks ago though. Hopefully its just a little set back and tomorrow will be better.

Day 26

Woke up this morning in a bit of an axious state, not a panic attack but not far off one. Calmed down a bit now. Still dont feel to great, dizzy and foggy, fuzzy head. I also have just got no engery or motivation whats so ever. So im just spending most of the time in bed on the laptop and watching tv. I have nothing to do really anyway. I dont really know what im expecting from the Citalopram, its like i expect it to just suddenly make me back to normal and i know its not really going to do that. Just dont know what to do with myself, so I dont help my self a lot of the time.

I still have the nagging thoughts that its not all anxiety and I do have something Neurologically wrong with me and with that doubt in my head the anxiety is always there.

---------- Post added at 20:28 ---------- Previous post was at 16:39 ----------

Update:

Havnt been as panicky today but i still dont feel to good. Really dizzy and foggy all the time, i thought these side effects would of started to subside by now, thats why i think it may be something other than the meds causing these symptoms.

My plan is to get to 5 weeks on the Citalopram and if these feelings and symptoms arent any better then I may ask to change to Escitalopram, as Ive heard some people have moved straight over with not many issues. Anyone here changed form Cit to Escitalopram?

Update:

Felt a bit better as the night went on, not to anxious. I still felt a bit foggy and dizzy so i did something ive never done before i forced myself to go out for a jog, even though my health anxiety makes me terrified im going to have a heart attack. so had a light jog with some stop and starting and did have a few panicky moments while i was out of breath, but i survived and i did actually feel better after. So that is a positive. Also i think it did clear my head a bit and i had quite a calm night. Hopefully this can continue.

Pleased to hear that you had a better night, I have now been on cit for 6 weeks and am gradually slowly starting to feel better, I went to see the GP yesterday after a fortnight and he said I seemed and looked a lot better which made me feel good, I don't have to see him for a month now. My worst thing now is waking up on and off at night starting at 1.30 every night, hopefully it will get better soon.

Have a good day.

Thanks cmc46.

Ah yea the waking up must be annoying, I did have that for the first week but then it settled down and moved on to the dizzyness and fuzzy feelings in my head. I suppose it effects everyone in different ways. Hopefully we can both start to feel back to normal soon. keep in touch.

When do you take your tablet, morning or evening? I take mine in the morning, I don't know whether that makes any difference to sleeping, the last week I have felt tired after lunch and if I sit down that's it I'm gone.

Yea i take mine in the morning aswell and do find i get a little sleepy throughout the day

---------- Post added at 18:36 ---------- Previous post was at 17:04 ----------

Day 27

Was a bit anxious when I woke up this morning, but that settled within an hour or so. So im just back to feeling ok, with mild dizzy foggyness again.

I feel like im stuck in between feeling really bad with high anxiety and between feeling reasonbly good and able to start doing things again. Im not feeling either of those im in the middle. I dont feel horribly anxious but i dont feel right, i always feel slightly dizzy and foggy and have no energy or motivation. I could force myself to get up and go out but i no im not quite ready. I would go out and start having panic attacks and have to come home. I just cant ignore the dizzyness and fuzzy head feelings, with the on and off headaches. I just want to get over the hurdle of feeling rather strange and then I could go and and start getting back to normality. I dont know is these strange feelings are ever going to go away though.

Hang in there they do although took 3 months for me but must add I also had an inner ear infection that started all this of for me

Update:

So as the day went on ive felt ok. Still have the slight dizziness, but anxiety is pretty low which is good. Its friday night so a few months ago i would of been out drinking with my mates. I had a few mates calling asking if i was coming out tonight, i new i wasnt really up for it but i did feel a bit better than usual so i said what the hell, ill try go out and see if i can get through the night. I went to the pub to meet my mates, didnt no whether to drink or not but i ordered a pint. Anyway within about 5 minutes i started feeling really dizzy and foggy, my head felt fuzzy and i was getting a bit disorientated, these feelings would come and go every minute or so and i was on the verge of a panic attack, so i left. Atleast I attempted it but no i am not ready. So now back at home chilling and i feel reasonably calm but just disapointed I cant do the simple things i used to like everyone else my age.

Sorry to hear that your night out didn't go too well but the only way to find out is to try and well done for that, my partner's grandchildren turned up this week unexpectedly and a few weeks ago I would have gone into a complete panic but this week it all went smoothly and I enjoyed it so it will get better in time and I'm sure it won't be long before you are able to enjoy a night out with your mates.

I been on cit four weeks gone thursday. First two weeks horrid side effects... this week anxiety has almost gone.... still get times in the day when i feel funny. Dizzy or slight faint feeling but it goes.... to all on cit hang in there i does.get better...... give it time and u will see light athe end o tunnel

Thanks cmc45 and nipp70, yea i hope i can start to start enjoying normal day to day things again soon but i am at the four week mark now and its not looking like it.

---------- Post added at 23:07 ---------- Previous post was at 22:55 ----------

Day 28

So ive hit four weeks on Citalopram. Not feeling as good as I hoped I would but there you go. When im at home im not in a constant state of anxiety like i was, bit i still get little bursts of panic now and then. I also am still nowhere near being able to do normal things yet. I cant go to the shops or out to walk the dog, let alone out with friends without feeling like im going to pass out and get so dizzy and leads to panic attacks. So thats not so great.

I still am a bit foggy but that has lifted a little in the past week. I am still dizzy and lightheaded pretty much most of the time though.

So anyway last night i was reading about acupunture and heard it can help with anxiety so today i thought what the hell have i got to lose. Forced myself to go out to the local acunpunture place. Had the worst fuzzy head and was dizzy the whole time i was there. I had the acupuncture done and was on the verge of a panic attack most of the time while this was going on. Didnt feel any different from it but i suppose you need a few sessions to see some benefit.

Basically im not panicing 24/7 so thats good, but ive always got some anxiety that peaks several times throughout the day. I think i will be like this untill I am checked up properly for neurological conditions. I cant ignore the fact that i have developed 1 pupil bigger than the other even when my doctor wouldnt refer me when i told him. So i need to either find out whether there is something wrong and if there isnt i can get the reasurrance and hopefully move on from these worries.

Day 29

Woke up late today, seem to be needing more sleep then i was before, but atleast i can sleep unlike a few weeks ago. I felt ok when i woke up, my head was a bit clearer then usual. The rest of the day has gone like usual so not much point me repeating it lol.
Just foggy and dizzy all the time and im in a steady state of this constantly.

Back to the doctors tomorrow to try and see what we can do about this.

Just reading about your experiance with Accupunture . I have had accupunture for anxiety and have found it really helps. I seem to sleep VERY well the night after the sessions - so thats a really good thing. Keep it up though, you gave to have a few sessions etc. If you need anymore info let me know

Day 30

So day 30 and I woke up feeling groggy and dizzy as per usual. My sleep pattern is well and truely messed up, im waking up at around 3 or 4pm at the moment.

Had a doctors appointment at 4:30pm today so got up and headed down to the doctors. Literally felt like i was going to pass out or just drop to the floor when i was walking down there. While sitting in the waiting room i was sweating, was disorientated, felt very faint. These things dont even feel like panic attacks anymore, just feel like im about to pass out and die.

So i went into the doctors office and told her my symptoms are all still there and i need to be referred to see someone, she really didnt want to refer me and wasnt suggesting anything, was just saying my symptoms dont point to anything and its anxiety. I told her about my pupils being uneven and all my constant dizzyness lightheaded, confusion, tingling in limbs, feeling faint all the time. I wasnt leaving untill i got referred and id been there about 6 times in the last month or so, in the end she said she will refer me to a neurologist, so i hope she does and wasnt just saying it to get rid of me.

Apart from that she didnt suggest anything else just said keep taking the citalopram at 20mg. So ill wait for the referral and keep taking the Cit.

If it is citalopram causing my symptoms, maybe it isnt right for me? Do you think the symptoms should have subsided by now, im a month in and im still constantly dizzy and light headed and my anxiety is not as bad when im at home but as soon as i leave the house its still there on full blast with the panic attacks. I feel like just coming off the meds just to see if it is causing my symptoms but im going to stick it out untill about 6 weeks and if its not any better i think it is time for a change. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

---------- Post added at 21:24 ---------- Previous post was at 20:34 ----------

Also i just realised ive run out of Citalopram yesterday and the chemist is now closed so I wont be able to take it today. Will have to get it first thing tomorrow.

Hi Gottagethroughthis,

I started taking Citalopram yesterday, its the first time I have ever tried antidepressants, and I have only had two doses so far, I'm on 10mg but the first day I had some horrific side affects, phoned NHS Direct who thought I was having a stroke and I had to really stress the point that I thought it was side effects from teh Citalopram, stopped them sending out an ambulance. I have been trying to decide whether my reaction is strong enough to warrant stopping and trying another brand. Phoned NHS direct again tonight and they sent an ambulance round even though I said I don't think I need one. The paramedics reckoned that it was probably just side effects. They called a doctor who had a conversation with me and then said if the symptoms are not too distressing then I should carry on. That was the deciding factor for me. I am only suffering with Depression, its fairly sever but it is relatively mild I think compared to what you are going through and your Health anxiety.

I wanted to say thank you for putting this diary up as it has helped me enormously. I am having similar symptoms to you especially the dizzy, foggy, jelly legs and headaches also neck and head aches, chest tightness, burning sensation in my ears and head and neck, dry mouth, tingling numb face, arms, difficulty speaking and concentrating, had fever, shaking, Nausea, blurred vision and squiggles in front of my eyes and my head was so heavy I couldn't even lift it for a while. For me for this is already unbearable and I can't go on feeling like this. So as my condition I think is potentially manageable in other ways and having seen how much you are suffering I'm going to stop taking it. I was like you last night I thought I was going to die I thought I had an allergic reaction to it, I take antihistamines everyday anyway and they seemed to alleviate some of the symptoms.

Basically like you I don't know if its the Citalopram or something else, it may even be psychosomatic, or me trying to resist the medication, as I do feel better when talking to friends on the phone, but I'm at an early enough stage that if I stop it now I will soon find out if it was the drug or not.

I hope you soon feel better, as you seem to be suffering with this. I'm sure it will get better but if after your 6 weeks your doctor still isn't listening and you still feel so bad, I would suggest you get a second opinion if you can, just to give you peace of mind. You have come so far I really hope you get the outcome that you want.

Take care of yourself

Thank you Newtoallthis that really means a lot and thanks for your input.

Its up to you what you do but dont let my diary effect wether you take the drug or not because it effects everyone in different days, many people have no side effects or there side effects calm down after the first week or so. But if you feel you can cope without it then thats great.

I have suffered a bit and I am dizzy and lightheaded most of the time but its not unberabale and I havnt got mad non stop anxiety like i did a few weeks ago. I can actually relax at home which i couldnt even do a few weeks back.

Sorry to hear your having such strong side effects.

There are many helpfull threads on Citalopram here so have a read through.

Thanks again for you reply and i hope everything works out for you.

Day 31

Woke up today feeling a bit groggy like usual but after an hour or so i began to felt ok. I didnt take any Citalopram yesterday as i had run out and didnt get a chance to get a new pack. Coincidentally today i do not feel as dizzy today, maybe it is just my mind playing tricks on me or maybe it is the Cit making me dizzy all the time. Its made me actually debate stopping taking it all together and see how i go, but that would be a bit pointless after taking it for a month and then stopping when i should start to see some benefits now. So decided im going to keep taking it until about 7 weeks and then stop if i dont feel any better.

Went for second session of Acupuncture today, dont know if its doing much but i did feel my head was a tiny bit clearer afterwards when i was walking home.

Generally feeling ok, quite calm most of the time, but still dont feel normal, slightly groggy and wee bit dizzy but better then last couple of days.

Will keep updated as day goes on.

Update:

Ive been doing a lot of reading online and i know i shouldnt. I think i may just stop the Citalopram guys. I dont like the thought that it can increase the risk of electrical faults in the heart when i have health anxiety about my heart anyway. I no im only on 20mg but still i dont want to become reliant on a drug that effects the heart. Ive also read people with slow heart rate are at greater risk and my heart rate gets down to 40-45 while resting.

What do you guys rekon, should i keep taking it now ive come this far?

What do you guys think do you think i should keep taking this drug with such a low resting heart rate and with me already having health anxiety caused by thinking about my heart?

---------- Post added at 19:01 ---------- Previous post was at 15:17 ----------

Day 32

Woke up today feeling groggy and dizzy like usual but after an hour or so i felt a little bit better and had a bit of energy which is unusual. I havnt left the house but i have been tidying and rearranging my room, i still have slight dizzy lightheadedness and nagging thoughts but my spirits are much higher today. So a decent day so far.

Still in this predicament on whether i should carry on this medication as i dont want to be on something that effects my heart. id rather be on a different anti depressant after all the news about Citalopram.

Will keep updated as the day goes on.

Hi,

It's probably best to speak to your doctor for advice. Do you feel better than you did before you started taking the tablets? If not, then maybe you should switch to something different. If you do feel better, then it would seem like a shame to stop, but it's about what you feel happiest doing.

Thanks Sparkle, yea i do maybe feel slightly better on the tablets, its like the high anxiety has been swapped for low anxiety and dizzy light headedness. Also i wish i never hear about Citalopram effecting the heart because it has just sent me into anxiety cycle again, thinking things are going on with my heart because im taking this drug.

So I still cant decide what to do really, i want to start to feel the benefits of the drug which should be coming soon but at the same time i dont want to be on a drug thats been in the news for causing problems with the heart and puts you at risk.

It's early days. Give your medication some more time to work and try not to worry so much. Worry changes nothing and increases anxiety. The heart issue does not effect you on your current dose. Have you discussed these concerns with your GP? Stick with it and you should see some positive results soon :)

Thanks Serenitie, No i havnt discussed it with my GP as i know they would just tell me to go away and stop bothering them in so many words, from what ive read its also more risky to be taking citalopram if you have a slow heart rate and mine is very slow around 40BPM when resting, it has always been like this and doesnt worry me but it does when now. I probably am just being stupid but i just wish i was on a different anti depressant now as the heart thing just adds to my anxiety. They are asking me to take beta blocker aswell as the Citalopram, My heart rate would probably be down to about 20 beats per minute then lol. I have told them my resting heart rate is very slow but they just fail to tell me its safe or give me any sort of advice.

---------- Post added at 18:56 ---------- Previous post was at 18:46 ----------

Day 33

Woke up feeling a bit Groggy but not as bad as usual. slight dizzyness. After an hour or so i felt pretty good. I dont seem to be noticing my dizzyness or lightheadedness today quite as much so it must be subsiding a bit, i hope that continues. My mood is at a steady level today, feeling a little bit more normal. I do get the funny fuzzy cotton wall head feelings now and then, they usualy come on at night and they are horrible, but there nowhere near as bad as a few weeks ago. I dont have much energy and i find it near impossible to get up in the morning but ive always been pretty lazy anyway so. Decent day so far.

Also just to add, ive still had my on and off chest pains during this whole diary, i just failed to mention them as i have had them for so long. I have started to monitor my heart again after reading about the heart issues with citalorpam, i hope it doesnt send me down the heart obssesion road again, i had only just moved over to obssesing over my brain instead.

Day 34

This is the best ive felt in the morning since being on these meds. I have started taking the tablet at night instead of in the morning and this seems to be helping. I usualy get a decent nights sleep now, it takes me a while to get to sleep but once i do im ok. Never have any energy to get up in the morning though so i just sleep in untill late afternoon.

Decent last couple of days and im feeling ok today so far so good news. Really need to start getting out of the house now though, just havnt got anything to do at the moment.

Will keep updated.

Ok so this is an update on day 32. After feeling a bit better in the past couple of days i decided to go with my mates for a few drinks. i felt strange and not to good at first but a few drinks turned into a few more and i ended up being quite drunk and not thinking about my usualy problems. I ended up being my usualy uncontrollable drunk self but im home now. Im just waiting for my first hangover in over 2 months and my first hangover on the Citalorpram, so we shall see.

Day 35

i managed to go out last night and have a reasonably good night. The anxiety was there but after id had a few drinks and became drunk the worries were pretty much forgotten. I did seem like a light weight last night and thats probably down to the fact im drinking on the medication and because i havnt drank in a while. So had a good few drinks just round the local area. Pleased i managed to get out and about.

Woke up with a nasty hangover this morning, went back to sleep for a few hours and felt a little bit better, but still extremely groggy. Have had a fuzzy head today and can feel my anxiety creeping up, i cant expect to get away with a heavy nights drinking and not have some strange feelings the next day.

So all in all i dont feel great today nut i no thats donw the the hangover. In general the past 3 days have been pretty good, with less anxiety and less dizzyness, although they are both still there. I do feel like im getting better. I hope it continues.

I'm glad you feel like you're getting better. :D

If you don't mind me asking, how much did you drink? I'm just wondering because I haven't been out drinking since I've been on medication, so I'm wondering how much is safe?

If it helps in anyway at all I started on Cit 2 years ago and over about 6 weeks increased to 20mg. All that you describe is very familiar to me, but certainly with me the feeling all gradually reduced over time and it was worth it in the end.

The anxiety levels will decrease and you should stabilise soon and feel much better

About the drinking thing - last night we had a little house warming party so I really fancied a few beers. I decided to limit myself to 3 bottles of beer and 1 drink at the pub and I stuck to it. I did feel quite drunk! In the past (before meds) I've been known to drink 5 or 6 pints and still feel fairly sober but I can definitely say the cit' makes you drunker that you would be usually. I felt happy and in good spirits the whole time though and my anxiety was totally not there. This morning I felt pretty terrible and sick but my mood is pretty good, even managed to get out in the sun and go for a walk with my boyfriend.

I'd say a small amount of alcohol is ok, but be prepared to pay for it the next day!

Ihanks for the replys guys, i really appreciate it and I do feel im gradually starting to feel better now.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sparkle1984

I'm glad you feel like you're getting better. :D

If you don't mind me asking, how much did you drink? I'm just wondering because I haven't been out drinking since I've been on medication, so I'm wondering how much is safe?

---

Hi sparkle, I drank a reasonable amount, i was going to limit myself but never can once i get going, so i probably had about 5 pints of beer and about 5 double vodkas or Jack daniels with coke. I used to drink a lot more and i did seem to get drunk a lot easier than i used to, which is probably donw to not having drank for a while and because of the medication. I was in a generally happy and jolly mood most of the time and the hangover was pretty much the same as usual, but i suppose everyones different.

Day 36

Felt ok when i woke up but still not normal. Felt a bit foggy as the day went on and had a really fuzzy head, couldnt think straight for a bit. The fog is quite bad today but that may be down to drinking on friday. i dont feel quite right.

My emotions just seem to be up and down a bit today, i lost some money erlier just playing a bit of bingo online and it made me really angry which it doesnt usually and ive been in an angry, dont care about anything sort of mood for the rest of the night.

Hi Gotta,

Try to limit the drinking as it stops the medication from working and booze is a natural depressant. I think most people are ok with the occasional drink but 5 pints of beer and 5 double vodkas or Jack daniels with coke would wipe me out for a week medication or no medication :wacko:

I hope that you start feeling better soon :hugs:

Yea you are right Serenitie, I hadnt drunk for nearly two months so i needed a night out but i will try and limit myself to only a few drinks next time. Thanks for the reply and hope things are getting better for you two :)

---------- Post added at 19:26 ---------- Previous post was at 19:20 ----------

Day 37

I feel ok today, slightly foggy and dizzy again but nothing major. Have tried to a bit of exercise today just in the garden, get myself moving again and start getting fit.

one thing that has got me a bit worried is, i did notice i seemed to look a bit thinner than usual but i hadnt weighed myself, but when i went out the other night someone said to me youve lost weight so naturally i was thinking about it today and i went and weighed myself.....Ive lost over 1 and a half stone in a month, coming up to two stone :ohmy: i am shocked. I did have a week before i started the meds where i hardly aite anything because my anxiety was so out of control but apart from that i have been eating normally id say. I wasnt overweight before by the way so that weight shouldnt be just dropping off me i dont think. I thought these meds were supposed to do the opposite. Anyway do you guys think its something to worry about?

Apart from that i feel ok and pretty calm in general, still with the on and off fuzzy head and dizzyness but its bearable and things seem to be moving in the right direction.

---------- Post added at 20:37 ---------- Previous post was at 19:26 ----------

Im also noticing my eye sight seems to be getting worse. I hope its just me but my distance vision does seem very blurry all the time now and i think its getting worse.

Day 38

Didnt get a great nights sleep, was waking up every hour or so. Feel quite anxious this morning and i feel in a bit of a dream like state, very foggy. I have no energy or motivation to move from this bed. Not what i wanted as i thought things were improving gradually, but i will see how the day goes.

Will keep updated as the day goes on.

---------- Post added at 13:56 ---------- Previous post was at 12:18 ----------

Tried to get up and do some stuff around the house but really not feeling great today, feel sick and weak and very foggy. Anxiety levels are building. Hope its just a blip.

So i have felt pretty crap today, slight dizzyness, lightheaded and foggy. Slight headache. Also as i mentioned before my vision does seem to be getting more and more blurry. My eyes have been doing funny things the whole time ive been on this drug, ive had uneven pupils, one bigger than the other everyday, strange shaped pupils like oval shape that comes and goes, and now the vision seems to be getting worse by the day.

I did start to feel better for a couple of days but im still up and down all the time and have all these other symptoms pretty much everyday. I no im only 5 and a half weeks in but surely these side effects (if thats what they are) should have calmed down by now? Id say my anxiety has lowered somewhat but these other symptoms cause me anxiety and worry so that doesnt help.

Ive had a chat with a family member and she thinks i should ween myself off them and see how i feel, i sort of agree. So im debating whether to stop these or not. Ive just taken 10mg instead of my usual 20mg but i can always take the other half if i change my mind.

What do you guys think, is it to early to be pulling out? should i carry on taking it for a few more weeks and see what happens? Im going to go down to 10mg for a week or so, so if i feel better and they symptoms calm down i can tell it is the meds and stop them. But if my symptoms are still there and my anxiety sky rockets again i suppose i will have to start taking them again and them be off back down the doctors.

Any advice would be appreciated guys. thanks.

Sorry to hear you haven't been feeling too good today. I think it's best if you speak to your doctor before you make the decision to come off the citalopram, they might be able to give you a different SSRI which could suit you better.