Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Carnation,

I meant to post last night about the bags. Why can't they show enough respect to keep them in the manager's office? It doesn't seem right in a corridor or hallway? Or was it a private flats type scenario where it was her own hallway?

When my nana died they just locked the room with her in there. My mum was very angry about that.

[Carnation]

It was in the corridor outside the main door Terry.
Stacked up in a corner, carrier bags overflowing with all on view including her little teddy bear.
Mr C was uncontrollably emotional yesterday because of it. Although I loaded the belongings in the boot, he wanted to help me carry them in to the house, even though I insisted I do it. Think he regretted afterwards.

[Darksky]

Oh God...that teddy bear would have killed me. Awful.

[Carnation]

Teddy bear is now with her Darksky. Mr C took it to the funeral directors.

Can you believe I am still obsessing over my eye, even though the Opticians didn't seem bothered about it.
I worry every time I get a little pain in that area and forever checking it, even in the middle of the night. I know why. A couple of people said stuff to me and that information has gone deep into my brain and is now haunting me.
One person said, "one red eye, be aware!" She obviously doesn't know how aware I am in everything. What a thing to say. It even made me Google.
The other thing that has been haunting me is my constant lightheadedness,which I have had for about two weeks. I've changed my tea to decaf, yuck, but I have noticed an improvement, actually a great improvement. Until I went out today.
Mr C wanted to go and have a fry up, how could I deny him? And have a look around the shops.
We went into a charity shop and he held up a jacket to show me. Could I see it? Of course I couldn't. My eyes were blurry, my legs were shaking and everything looked distorted. "Don't panic", I said to myself, "it will pass". So there I was sort of stumbling about the place, which I wasn't, but it felt like it. Constantly apologising to people for being in the way. Thought I'd take myself to the book and CD area still not able to focus on my sight with Mr C totally unaware of situation. "No, I thought, I've got to stick this out. If I run, it will not improve". God, it's an uncomfortable feeling, but I stuck it out. A big sigh of relief when leaving, but every shop I went in was a struggle. The cafe was just as bad. It seemed to be any where that was indoors. I could walk perfectly well outside, even sat outside for a short while chatting to someone I knew, but indoors was a nightmare.
But I didn't run, I stayed focused, took my time and did it again. Now I am exhausted, but pleased I kept going.

[Darksky]

Now I am alright in shops but there's is no way on this planet that I could sit in a cafe. To me, I have to be able to move. In shops I can move around so it's not too bad. But sat..trapped in a cafe...no thank you. But well done for not running out, you would have been beating yourself up over it but now you can look back with pride. Yes, it was vile but you did it, nothing happened and you lived to tell the tale. So it can be chalked up as a victory. Many small victories make progress.

I've never heard that, one red eye, be aware, thing. She did know, you poked yourself in the eye with a mascara wand when she made that comment? Only time will move this from the front of your mind but it really is only a botched mascara job.

Glad Mrs.C senior has her teddy back. I've got one about 50 years old and it still squeaks.

[Carnation]

Everyone should have a teddy Darksky

[Carnation]

Yeah, sitting a Cafe is like putting yourself into a vat of hot wax. mind you, I've always been inclined to living on the edge, just not this much!
Treated myself to a lie in today. Well it was minus something ridiculous, and sunday.
Should have stayed there, because I felt lightheaded for most of the day and it felt like I was wearing a rubber band around my forehead. It could be the hat I've been wearing lately because I have a sensitivity to wearing things on my head and the same with glasses.
Actually think it may be all to do with my sinus issues, because the decaf hasn't made that much difference. Although my adrenalin seems a little less. I'll keep at it anyway.
I have no energy at all at the moment and no minister for the funeral. Gone down with the flu and waiting to hear about a replacement. The family might not even come due to the weather conditions, so at the moment it is just me and Mr C and that's not an exaggeration.
Can't wait for January to be over not my favourite month at the best of times, but nice to see some plant growth already popping out of the ground. New life, new beginning.

[Darksky]

When is the funeral Carnation?

It won't be just the two of you whatever happens with the weather. Let me know when and I'll stop and think of the three of you, join you in a silent prayer or something.

[Carnation]

A week on Tuesday Darksky, seems like forever waiting. A prayer is a lovely thought. x

[Darksky]

What time Mrs.C?