Good evening all! I stumbled across this forum a few times, and figured this may be the place for me.
In late 2003 after many unexplained trips to the DR and ER I was finally diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. I would have random panic attacks out of the blue, and some so alarming I thought as if I were going to die.
I started to see a new DR who prescribed Zoloft to take each day. I started on 25mg and to 50 in 2 weeks. During this time my panic attacks became more and more frequent. While riding in a car, I had the biggest attack of the time. I immediately called my Dr who suggested upping my dose to 100MG. From there, my life became hell! I couldn't leave my house without having an attack, even sitting at home I was in fear! I became so afraid of the outside world I could not work, or even pay thye bills anymore. My rent became months past due and I had spent the winter locked in a home with no power or heat! My parents would drive 45 mins to check on me and I wold hide in a bathroom pretending not to be home until they went away.
In Feb of 2005 I finally called my mom and asked her to come get me. Until Aug of 2009 I did not even venture to my mailbox! I had no social life, I was just existing in a room of doom! Sept of 2009 my parents separated and my father attempted to commit suicide right in front of me! From that day forth I stated I wanted to start living again! I started by asking my mother just to take me to the store. We started venturing out within a 5 mile radius for a few months.
In July of 2010 my mother moved to Oregon (I live in GA) and my safety was pulled away. I was abandoned and scared! After a few trials and tribulations, a wonderful man found his way into my life, and has been a complete godsend!
Over the past year, I have made great progress and he does well at getting me to the local shops and out when I want to go! Realizing I am still not living life as as 29 year old woman should, I took the plunge 2 weeks ago and finally went and saw a new DR, one that my family has seen for ages. He prescribed me Citalopram, 20mg. And told me to split the pill in half for 2 days to get my body adjusted to the medication.
After being med free for over 6 years, I was extremely against it. But knew something had to be done! So after a bit of chatter with myself, I decided I would start with 2.5MG and work my way up! I started this last Monday, the first day was pretty easy! I was tired for about 30 mins, then was filled with energy and motivation! Surely because I felt I was moving in the right direction. I went to bed that night and found myself having slight anxiety, but being alone with your brain some times isn't the best of placed.
Day 2, again was 2.5MG and the same thing for the most part! Buzzing around throughout the day, but the night was bizarre! When I laid my head down, the thoughts came swooping in! I decided no more pills until I spoke to my DR. I called him first thing that morning and was told he was off that day. So I went on about my day, soon to realize that my "womanly" gift had been granted! So I felt kind of dumb because I did not know if my anxiety was the meds or my hormones!
2 days later he finally called me back and told me to keep taking my meds as I had and prescribed me Ativan as well for emergency's. While I had been waiting for his call, I went ahead and found me a great counsler for some CBT abilities! My appointment with her was Monday, so I told myself I would wait til Tuesday to start my meds again! My visit with her was great! Although it was just mainly me talking and telling her my life with anxiety!
Today is now Tuesday and I took my pill about noon today, so far I feel as if I have not taking anything, I didn't feel that buzzy feeling, just had no real craving for dinner! I am hoping tonight will be one with no anxiety or panic attacks. If I can make it through the night with none of that nonsense I will be extremely happy!
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