cant live with them, cant live without them.

[emster]

hi, im just wonering if anyone can relate to this as it would be nice to know i'm not the only one and then i wont feel quite so bad.
although i often complain that im lonely, when i am actually with other people they really annoy me and i feel crowded and stifled and i feel really upset and stressed out and wish i could just be on my own, but then i get scared when im alone and i panic and i find myself wishing there was someone arround to give me a hug or something.
im finding this really upsetting and frustrating, partly because i feel guilty about thinking unkindly about people who help and support me and would probably rather be doing something else but stick arround cos they know if they leave me on my own i'll get scared. and partly because before all this happened i was always happiest in my own company and took a lot of pride in being independant and im often quite disgusted in myself for turning into someone so pathetic and needy.
i dont want to be the sort of person who just uses people all the time but i dont know how to put the situation right when im finding it so difficult to be self reliant now.
i cant really talk to anyone i know about this because they would (quite rightly) take offense. i know i must be really difficult to deal with most of the time and it would come across as me being extremely ungrateful and i dont think theyd understand.
any thoughts at all on the matter would be appreciated, even if its to tell me that im horrid.

[Daisybun]

No I understand how you feel. I have had a lot of support this week, at times it's great and it takes my mind offf things but then I get tired and just want some peace to be with me, and my thoughts, then I think - no I need to talk to someone. i think its a natural part of the anxiety - you aren't on your own feeling that way.

Daisybun


'This too will pass'

[scoobygirl2005]

Hi.

I know how you feel, I at times feel very alone and feel like I just want a little cuddle. But then when people are with me I sometimes feel like oh just go away. You are not horrible for thinking that, its in a way you just need your space. When you are feeling lonely why don't you just talk to a friend on the phone and get them to pop round for a bit but only for a little while and then that way you won't feel that they are annoying you as much because they won't be around you for hours. Does this help? Hope it does. Keep smiling.

Scooby2005
x x

[Granny Primark]

my dear friend emmie, your not alone with those thoughts we all feel like that at times. Its because youve always been so independent that you are frightened to let people know that you can be vulbnerable and need other people. Which we all do from time to time. Ive always been the person everyone turned to when there was a problem now i feel i need other people instead of them needing me, which makes me feel really guilty and ashamed. Take advantage of any help and support that comes your way. Let people help you when YOU feel its the right time for you.
Take care.
Lynn

[clarky]

Dear Emster

I can't believe what you have written as it's EXACTLY how I feel! I could have written it myself! I love my own company and crave it a lot of the time then sometimes feel lonely. Like you sometimes when I am in company, people annoy me and I too, feel crowded and stifled and wish I could just be on my own! Sometimes, I avoid social situations and turn down invites as I know I'll be feeling all stressed when I get there and want to be on my own.

I hate feeling like this as have the most wonderful friends and parents and feel dreadful when I want to get away and be on my own!

I don't know what the answer is but just wanted you to know that you aren't alone!

lol xx

[bluebottle]

Dorothy Rowe "Breaking the Bonds".

Its all in there guys.

--
Blue -
"Your truth is better for you than someone else's. Just get to know what it is, so you can finally own it, and speak it."