Desperate and suicidal........please help!!!

[Dylansmum]

Hello

I have just started a course of analytical hypnotherapy (I have had 2 sessions so far) and am just desperately worried that it isn't going to work as it seems my only hope of ever having a normal life. There doesn't seem to be any reason why it wouldn't work and my therapist seems to think it is going ok, it is just my own worry, I can't stop thinking about it and am constantly suicidal.

My problem is a form of social anxiety. I am frightened of eating infront of people, worried that they will laugh at what I am eating or think it is strange, i get really embarassed. I am also frightened of certain foods. This makes me worry even more because I think 'what if people want to go and eat somewhere where I don't like the food'. I would be so ashamed that I didn't like it and even when I do like the food I panic and I can't swallow anything. I can't have a relationship or go on holiday because I worry about food so much. I am ashamed and worried because I think the foods I eat are somehow 'wrong' even though deep down I know I just eat normal stuff. I think I should be more adventurous in my tastes. I can't even think what it is normal to eat or what other people eat!! I really feel like I am going mad. I am desperate and suicidal as I just want to be normal and live a normal life.

With this hypnotherapy I just worry that there will be something about me that stops it working or that I won't be able to do it. I haven't been to work since Christmas, I have had to leave my house and go and live with my mum and I really just want to be dead. I am up at 4am every morning and go walking for hours. I am having no life and I am only 29.

Please can someone give me some feedback. Am I completely alone, I find it hard to believe there may be other people in the world who have some of the same feelings as me. Has anyone else been successful with hypnotherapy.

I am sorry this is such as long post and thank you to anyone who takes the time to read it. Please, please can someone help me, I am desperate and would really appreciate any feedback.

Love to everyone


Sarah x

[Daisybun]

Hi Sarah
sorry to read that you are feeling so bad at the moment. You are definitely not alone, I do not have the same problem as you but I do have health anxiety and worry about that - most of the time. I too feel like it is ruining my life. I'm not having hynotherapy but i am waiting for cognitive behaviour therapy. I would try and start to focus on how it WILL help you. I found that two weeks ago i didn't want to go on as I was but then I remembered things I'd read in self-help books and on sites like these about different techniques etc that can help. There are loads of people on here who have been successful in coping with, living with and overcoming their anxiety so don't give up - you have a life to live for, just keep on keeping on and we are here to support you through it. Take care

Daisybun


'This too will pass'

[JayK]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Hello

I have just started a course of analytical hypnotherapy (I have had 2 sessions so far) and am just desperately worried that it isn't going to work as it seems my only hope of ever having a normal life. There doesn't seem to be any reason why it wouldn't work and my therapist seems to think it is going ok, it is just my own worry, I can't stop thinking about it and am constantly suicidal.

My problem is a form of social anxiety. I am frightened of eating infront of people, worried that they will laugh at what I am eating or think it is strange, i get really embarassed. I am also frightened of certain foods. This makes me worry even more because I think 'what if people want to go and eat somewhere where I don't like the food'. I would be so ashamed that I didn't like it and even when I do like the food I panic and I can't swallow anything. I can't have a relationship or go on holiday because I worry about food so much. I am ashamed and worried because I think the foods I eat are somehow 'wrong' even though deep down I know I just eat normal stuff. I think I should be more adventurous in my tastes. I can't even think what it is normal to eat or what other people eat!! I really feel like I am going mad. I am desperate and suicidal as I just want to be normal and live a normal life.

With this hypnotherapy I just worry that there will be something about me that stops it working or that I won't be able to do it. I haven't been to work since Christmas, I have had to leave my house and go and live with my mum and I really just want to be dead. I am up at 4am every morning and go walking for hours. I am having no life and I am only 29.

Please can someone give me some feedback. Am I completely alone, I find it hard to believe there may be other people in the world who have some of the same feelings as me. Has anyone else been successful with hypnotherapy.

I am sorry this is such as long post and thank you to anyone who takes the time to read it. Please, please can someone help me, I am desperate and would really appreciate any feedback.

Love to everyone


Sarah x

<div align="right">Originally posted by Dylansmum - 14 May 2006 : 09:37:18</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

I CANNOT OVERSTATE how important it will be for you to start reading testimonials here at nomorepanic.

You are in control of your panic and anxiety but you just need to realise this.
There is no 'what if this doesnt work?' situation going on here because even with hypnotherapy its about YOU agreeing to STOP obsessive and scary thinking.
'What if' thinking.

You will read through testimonials here and find out very quickly that what you are experiencing are ANXIETY SENSATIONS and what you are doing is interpreting them in certain ways/habits and actions.

There is absolutely NO QUESTION about whether or not you will ever 'be better' because it is 100% possible and can and will happen when you decide to start removing, reducing and letting go of your RESPONSE to Stress.

Im not trying to make this 'sound good' or sound like some 'easy thing' but Im not BSing you either.
You are NOT being afflicted with something that is going to 'ruin your life' and the real truth is that once YOU change your thinking and habits (like worrying) you are going to be STRONGER than the average person.
Stronger.

Again, you are doing a very common and 'classic' thing right now where you are placing an 'unrealistic expectation' and 'misplaced dependancy' on something and then spiraling yourself into total fear with 'what if?' thinking (no doubt cycling it faster and faster in your mind too).

Hang on, Relax and once you become aware there is nothing 'actually wrong' with you and that your sensations are very 'common' and shared by

[susan]

Hello Sweetheart. Sorry to hear your having such a rough time of it. Now, You DONT want to be dead. You want the situation to go away!.. not you!! These are two very different things. One doesnt get you the other. This IS going to get better. It doesnt matter whether its the hypnotherapy which helps or not. This is just a very rough patch for you- and I really feel for you. Hang in there! There are good times ahead that youve got no idea about at the moment...I promise! I wish you all the best. Youll get there. Remember, minor set backs are just that... Life is an important gift- and you are an important gift to the world. Love, Susan. XXX (By the way, Im vegan, my daughter lives on processed chicken yuk, and I have a friend who just eats meat and potatoes-no veg. Ease up on yourself.. Everyones odd!) x

sue

[Pen]

Hi

My friend had a phobia about eating in front of people some years ago and is now completely cured. She found that having a glass of wine with her food helped as it allowed her to relax. I have health anxiety and recently when eating some smoked haddock for my tea I convinced myself in two seconds flat that I was going to have an allergic reaction to it and had a huge panic attack. I am uanable to take any medication, other than standard pain killers because I am conviced that I will have every side effect they have and have even been known to have a panic attack from just reading the information in the packet! You are not alone, I have found the information on this site extremely valuable and the more I learn about anxiety the better I am able to cope with it.

Take care

Pen X[8D]

[joolsukuk]

hi sarah
so sorry your feeling so low, we are all here for you hun
(((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))

jools xx

[kirgray]

Hi Sarah

Im so sorry your having a hard time at the mo-this is what it is a tough time in life-I feel the same at the mo-every day Im scared of eating in front of people and drinking any liquid my throat constricts and wont swallow properley-everyday I find it hard to converse with people and feel very alone. However I feel so down I see it as a bad spell and things will pick up and they will sarah-pls believe that although you may feel you wont be cured there are coping techniques that can help you get out there, for example my work bag is like a chemists i have evrything from vicks inhaler as feel cannot breathe to a good supply of lavender tissues and i hide myself in the loo throughout the day and regain my thoughts, whilst sniffing my lavender tissues! and some deep breathing, bet everyone will think im odd but its my way of getting thro the day!

Lots of love and hugs, you are not alone

kirsty x

[JEdge]

Hi
Sorry to hear you are in turmoil about your eating anxiety.
I had also tried hynotherapy for a social anxiety probelm a couple of years back as I was desperate for a quick fix but FOR ME it didn't work.
THe best path I took was regular counselling (I had to pay for it) and did a weekly workout program of visualisation and gradual desensitisation. IN other words, I faced my fear in small manageable steps and gave myself big rewards each time. I had a weekly / monthly action workout which would probably be hilarious to some people but were huge steps for me. I didn't have an eating problem but I couldn't even get out the front door to meet people. When finally in company I would never lift anything (like a glass etc..) for fear of shaking, being ill etc..

If you can find yourself the counsellor to suit you then suggest Cognitive Therapy. Try to read up about it too if you can - I can try to understand what you're going through as like yourself I was on the brink of ending it all as I couldn't stop it there and then but be kinder to yourself and get all the help you can and I'm positive you will get through it. It just takes a little time and thats the hardest part sometimes is accepting it will take time.
Jo

[Dylansmum]

I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone for all your replies. They really mean a lot to me and have helped me through the last few days. I am trying to keep smiling and hoping that this time will pass.

Love and hugs.

Sarah x

[JEdge]

Hi Sarah
Just a thought - have you spoken to anyone close to you about this - a family member or friend - you should find they will be extremely supportive. Perhaps you could suggest as a small start that you practice eating a meal with them at home, then go out somewhere very quiet on a quiet evening and gradually make small steps then. A bit at a time to rebuild your confidence.
I am getting married in 6 weeks and everytime I think of the social aspect my stomach turns over and I can't eat at all! But I am going to take some small steps to build up my own confidence toward it.
Sometimes a little action plan and diary helps you move forward slowly with things.
Jo