Hi there,

In March of this year I lost my younger sister in very sudden circumstances. We had no idea anything was wrong and she died very quickly in myself and mum and dads arms. She was only 11. Since then I did return to work but find myself obsessing over health issues. I have also had panic attacks and most recently have been signed off work with severe anxiety, to the point that I could not get out of bed for almost a fortnight without feeling dizzy and out of it!

I often think about that night when it happened. I wouldnt say I am having scary flashbacks as such and it is not distressing when I relive it. But I am constantly trying to think If anything could have been done differently...I had a gut feeling something wasnt right why did I not act on it...etc etc. I also feel a sense of guilt as years ago I woke in the middle of the night to find my sister having a seizure (she had epilespy but had nothing to do with her death). Since then I had had several dreams that she had died. I know that sounds absolutely awful but I would always wake up distressed. I feel guilty that I dreamt it before it even happened!! I know that all the panic attacks/anxiety are caused by what I have been through but does this mean it is PTSD? I am really unsure as to what exactly is wrong with me :( I am on Citalopram now and have been feeling alot better but have had no closure as I have not visited my sisters grave or anything ! xx