Not sure if I have PTSD??

[SH412]

Hi there,

In March of this year I lost my younger sister in very sudden circumstances. We had no idea anything was wrong and she died very quickly in myself and mum and dads arms. She was only 11. Since then I did return to work but find myself obsessing over health issues. I have also had panic attacks and most recently have been signed off work with severe anxiety, to the point that I could not get out of bed for almost a fortnight without feeling dizzy and out of it!

I often think about that night when it happened. I wouldnt say I am having scary flashbacks as such and it is not distressing when I relive it. But I am constantly trying to think If anything could have been done differently...I had a gut feeling something wasnt right why did I not act on it...etc etc. I also feel a sense of guilt as years ago I woke in the middle of the night to find my sister having a seizure (she had epilespy but had nothing to do with her death). Since then I had had several dreams that she had died. I know that sounds absolutely awful but I would always wake up distressed. I feel guilty that I dreamt it before it even happened!! I know that all the panic attacks/anxiety are caused by what I have been through but does this mean it is PTSD? I am really unsure as to what exactly is wrong with me :( I am on Citalopram now and have been feeling alot better but have had no closure as I have not visited my sisters grave or anything ! xx

[lizzie29]

Firstly, I'm sorry to hear of your loss, 11 is so young.

I'm no doctor so really wouldn't know what would make it PTSD as opposed to panic/anxiety caused by what happened. Have you had any form of bereavement counselling? March is not really that long ago and you need to allow yourself time to grieve. Try not to blame yourself - I'm sure it must be easy to do and to wonder about all the what ifs. If you had counselling I'm sure they would discuss this with you.

Are you having treatment for your panic? x

[Alicat]

This really does sound like PTSD to me. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. That's terrible

I'd definitely discuss with a GP. Good luck x

[SH412]

Thanks guys! I am not having any treatment in the form of counselling/CBT. I am on Citalopram 20mg and my employer are currently trying to get a counsellor for me!! xx

[anxiousinsg]

Hi, I'm very sorry for your loss. I know how distressing it is to lose a sibling. I lost my brother in a motorcycle accident 18 years ago and to be honest, I still get affected by it. I have been suffering from anxiety for over 12 years. I never attributed it to PTSD until a couple of days ago when I went for my first counselling session. I decided that I needed some help to cope as it was getting exhausting being me. So as I was sitting at the counsellor's office rattling off the things that I've been through – brother's death, sister's car accident, grandma taking her last breath in front of me at the hospital – it really came together that I have seen a fair bit of loss in my life. And when the counsellor said, it sounds like I have PTSD, I was shocked. Till then, I had always associated PTSD with severe trauma like going to war, or being sexually assaulted. I'm not on any meds and like I said, I've only been to one session. But the counsellor did talk about the different treatments we can try to work on this. So my advice would be to go to a therapist, sooner rather than later. Trying to deal with it myself for over a decade made me a nervous wreck at times. And it was difficult not to keep telling myself to snap out of it and then feeling bad when I couldn't. I'm hopeful that I will be able to cope much better with treatment. Good luck!

[Lynnann]

Hi,

To me it sounds like grief that you are suffering with and shock, you never expect to lose someone so young. My brother died at 24, double blow after losing our mother when I was 9. But I will say horrific as that was, it was not PTSD, that was something else I had to deal with as well and quite different. I am not saying this to belittle what you are going through in any way as I do understand how hard it is but rather for you to find the right help to guide you through this difficult time. I wish you well and send you gentle hugs, there is online CBT that you can do from home and I would highly recommend it.

Take care Kaidensmum

Lynnann