memory issues

[Rachel W]

Hi,

I was wondering whether someone could relate. I have had OCD since I was 17 (I am now 40), although I had tendencies earlier. I have had a VERY stressful past ten years, and also haven't always eaten healthy either due to contamination, easier to eat fast/junk food etc. I have eaten MUCH healthier in the past couple of years although I am a little overweight, but not too bad. I have always had a larger waistline as well, probably due to stress.

Three years ago I also developed health anxiety and am also studying my master's degree which is also stressful.

Now I fear that I am having memory/cognitive issues. Obviously having OCD has robbed me of memories over the years, and I have never worried that my long-term memory is relatively poor, but I have always been able to remember facts that pertain to the current life, cross-contamination and all that, but recently I feel that my memory is really poor and also concentration, like my thoughts are cut-off and then I have to search for them again.

As mentioned I have been more stressed than ever and I met a friend of the family with dementia last year and after that I used a wrong word in a sentence. After that I panicked and it seemed to make things worse. then it seemed to go away again, although I had on and off fogginess.
Then I had to do field research and there were lots of dogs off leashes and I was getting really stressed EVERY day when out in the field, and I forgot where I had put some of my equipment and did not realise that I was missing my spare boots until I found them with the other stuff. I am constantly worrying about my memory, so I am noticing every glitch.

I am definitely feeling like I am unable to think straight and feel in a daze. It feels like a physical block.

I was wondering whether I could have done permanent damage to my brain and that all this stress over the years is irreversible. I really feel burnt out too and as I live away from family my boyfriend is my only source of close comfort and he does not understand and is actually always on my case about things so I don't have any outlet at all and am more stressed.

Please help.

[RLR]

Okay, this is a very common theme and one which requires a bit of discussion. With respect to your memory, you can relax. There is nothing physically causing the problem.

It's critical to understand that in order for short-term memory to occur, you must be able to attend to the stimulus. This process is often interrupted by cognitive ruminations which impede the ability to naturally attend in such a manner to create memory formation. Health anxiety is generally quite pervasive and often produces vigilance that is distractive in nature.

Realize that active memory can be impeded by distraction and consumption of worries about one's health. It's critical to understand that memory degradation by neurodegenerative disease is, unlike memory interference, quite unique in that one of the hallmark characteristics of such disease is the manifestation of anosognosia, or the inability to perceive that a problem with cognition exists. There are other constitutional signs of neurodegenerative diseases that include dementia which must be present. You make no mention of any such symptoms.

Word substitution is not a sign of dementia at all, but rather a sign of interference.

You can take a breath and relax. There is absolutely nothing here to suggest that you are in any way being affected by a neurological disease of any kind. I would, however, be interested in why you believe that OCD has "robbed" you of years of memory. If you don't mind, please elaborate to whatever extent you feel comfortable in sharing precisely what characteristics led to your diagnosis of OCD.

Your memory will improve if you initiate the habit of mentally pausing before undertaking important tasks to attend to certain actions and thoughts necessary to form working memory, also taking steps to assertively turn off the ruminative thoughts which are interfering with your ability to concentrate on the tasks at hand. You'll be pleasantly surprised by the results.

Best regards,

Rutheford Rane, MD (ret.)

[Rachel W]

Thank you. I have emailed you a private message with my whole OCD story. One thing I forgot to say was that I had been in treatment on and off, including up to 80mg Prozac, but I don't want to take meds anymore if I don't have to as I worry about the long-term effects.