is dying in hospital - he is being made comfortable but will not be coming out. He is a friend of my husband and I and has been very ill for many many years with kidney failure etc and he was in a wheelchair and he has always beaten the odds and come back home again. He had an aortic aneurysm and survived the operation and then he had to have a kidney removed and go on dialysis but everytime he has been very ill, sometimes in intensive care he has struggled on. This time his remaining kidney is badly infected and despite weeks of iv antibitoics he is in a bad way and too ill to operate on.
His wife has asked us to take her to see him on Tuesday evening if he is still alive ( he is in a specialist hospital hour and half drive away).
This is really really selfish but I am absolutely dreading it, I have been expecting him to die anytime for past 6 years but I don't want to see him as he will be, as you will all understand it scares me, its having to confront our worst fears.
Sorry for the ramble but just needed someone to talk to as I daren't say this to anyone else.