Hi everyone and anyone who reads this. I'm new to these forums and don't quite know how everything works yet so I'll basically introduce myself and my problem and see where we go from there
I am a 17 year old girl living in the UK and hoping to go to university to study medicine next year. At the moment, I don't know how I'm going to do that because anxiety seems to have taken over my life. Whilst all my friends are having fun, going out and enjoying life, I repeatedly suffer from panic attacks and other anxiety related symptoms that prevent me from acting, eating and living like I used to. It's really getting me down so I joined this website in the hope that someone will help
Basically I had my first panic attack almost two years ago, although I didn't realise what it was back then. It came on the night before an exam - I wasn't actively worrying about it but my heart started beating really fast and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I was shivering and felt sick, and genuinely thought I was dying. But the next day, when it finally went away, I was fine and I didn't think about it anymore.
Then, over a year later, in April I was lying in bed trying to sleep when the same thing happened. The next night it was the same, and after that. I didn't know what to do, and every time I went to bed, I had to calm myself down first so I didn't have another one. My doctor told me I was 'dealing with them' because I wasn't having more attacks after the first two, but I still felt scared I'd have another.
It all got worse over summer. I was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome last November after I kept getting cramp-like pains in my stomach, but I started to get terrible indigestion around July and felt bloated and sick all the time. I went on holiday to Jamaica and had a panic attack on the plane, feeling like I couldn't swallow properly. I had many more panic attacks on holiday - even relaxing on a beach! - and I also felt feelings of depression, like nothing had a point and like the sky was smothering me and everything was too dark and things like that. I was told by the resort nurse that I had trapped gas which was making me bloated and told to avoid certain foods. When I got back to England, I was diagnosed with gastritis and given omeprazole, but didn't mention the panic attacks because I was booked to see a counsellor mid-September already and thought that would be enough.
Annoyingly, I was wrong. A few weeks ago, I started to feel a new sensation - like someone was squeezing my head. I felt dizzy and heavy, with occasional dull stabs of pain. When it got really bad, it was almost unbearably uncomfortable and I couldn't focus on anything else. This sensation came and went, sometimes disappearing for whole days and sometimes lasting for multiple days. Paracetamol doesn't help, and I daren't take anything else because of my stomach. The feelings of depression also continued - I feel like just lying on my bed and crying, like nothing I do has a point and like no one cares about me.
Its now nearly 1am and I'm writing this because my head feels so squeezy and hot that I can't sleep. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, where I will tell her about my problem and hopefully get more help. These symptoms are making my life unbearable and I've started to feel like nothing I do has a point. I'm not on any anxiety meds (they don't want to put me on any because I'm so young I guess) but I really just want to get better and get on with my life.
All I really want to ask now is this: are there other teenagers with anxiety or panic problems? It seems like everyone I know just drinks alcohol, parties, drinks coffee and fizzy drinks and I can't do that! Any words of help, advice or just sympathy would help so so much.
Thank you
Harrydig
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