my story so far!

[**whenwillthisend**]

hi just joined this site today and would like to share my story with others.It all started about 6 months ago with a dizzy spell and felt as though i was going to faint, since then my life was turned upside down.I became terrified(and still is) that i would pass out or faint. Looking back and through seeing numerous doctors i realise i was exhausted, and probably run down. My first trip to the doctors consisted of her telling me just to get some more rest and she ordered numerous blood tests.All came back normal except for liver test which was slightly abnormal.I became convinced i had hepatitis,liver disease you name it.
went to see Gastroenterologist diagnosed with a mild harmless syndrome.I came away feeling happy but my thoughts soon turned to me being convinced i eas going to have a brain haemmorage then i convinced myself i had a brain tumour, due to developing severe tensilon headaches head pains, clicking noises in head and dizzy spells., ended up paying to see a neurologist privately had an MRI scan.I was told my scan was PERFECTLEY CLEAR i burst out cryiny because i convinced myself i had a tumour and had not long to live.
Throughout all this i was experiencing(and still am having mini panics on most days) the fear of fainting seems to haunt me no matter what i do!
THe first panic attack i had was terrifying and i thought i was gonna die,everything has spirraled out of control since then.
I have ended up in A and E three times now,the last being by ambulance a few weeks ago.Th consultant i saw there suggested i have a 24 hour ECG to rule out arrithmia(fast heart abnormalheart rate)
So off i went home worrying i now had something wrong with my heart and was gonna drop dead any moment with a heart attack or SADS
even though i was told my ECG was fine B.p etc.
Went to see my own G.p who was, i have to say useless,wanted me to go on prozac and that be it.So off i went to see a cardiologist privately(Spent a fortune) had a Echo,48 hour ECG and a treadmill test.All came back fine except tha 48 hour tape showed ectopics which i knew i had and which terrified me he told me i had a slight heart murmur.Basically a noisy heart BUT nothing to worry about as the echo was normal!
CAme home goolgled heart murmur(stupid i know) but have since tried to but it to the back of my mind.Still worry im gonna have a heart attack or something!!! in between all this i have had numerous cancers of the body etc.Sorry this post is so long but im sure others will relate to this i have been referred forCBT but have still to here.I hope everyday i will start to feel normal as im at my wits end with what to do next, i hate having to go anywhere,or being on my own in case i faint.I have two small children who some days havent the energy
to cope with..... i need to get better soon!!!:(,

[katies]

Hi Love

I could have written that story about me too - you seem to be suffering in exactly the same why as me hun. It is sooooo hard once youa re in that spiral of fear of the fear but you can concur it. You should try reading Dr Claire Weeks books - veru good and also see if your GP will refer you for some CBT.

The tablets may help knock the edge of things so it may be worth considering but sometimes the initial side effects can make things a little worse short term.

Having young children is soooo hard when you are suffering like this - the exhaustion and irritability is hard to deal with and then of course comes the doubt that are a good parent. You are !!!!! You are just in a very sensitized state at present but it will pass.

Feel free to PM me anytime sweetheart we are all here for you and you will find that this website will help you so muc.

Love

KatieS xxxxx

[Miss Pink]

Hi again,

I wrote practically the same thing that you have just done when I started on the site. I know exactly how you feel and trust me it is just anxiety ! Think of all the tests you have had - they would have found something serious for sure. So all your symptoms are scary BUT HARMLESS. Once you start to believe this I promise things will start to get better.[8D]

My sore point was stopping running back and forth to the Doctor - somehow I think that makes you worse. Try and say "Ok I've had all these tests, they all show I don't have a serious life threatening illness and so I must be ok" Distract yourself when you start thinking the dreaded "what ifs" (I count backwards from 100 to 1 as fast as I can) and do lots of relaxation (I have some good relaxation cd's I could send you if you PM me)

Sorry for rambling, its just you souond SO MUCH like me a few months back ! I promise you it does get easier xxxxx

PS Take a look at this post with everybody discussing what illnesses they've had so far, I can add to this:

This wek I shall be mostly dying of . .

Brain tumour (even a scan didn't reassure me)
Mad Cow Disease (lol the only mad cow is me lol)......
MS
Cancer of about 14 different types
Schizophrenia
Liver Disease
Motor Neurone Disease
Stroke
About 150 possible heart attacks ! (the beginnings of which usually turn out to be indigestion)

the list goes on ! add to that about 13 Doctors visits and 4 trips to A&E in 7 months I'm not doing to bad considering all the illnesses I've had !! lol[:I]

I hope this can help you to smile a bit - we're all the same on here so don't feel any different, time and good advice are the key to getting better - its only up from here !! (IT IS !!!)

Take Care

PM me anytime - you're not on your own anymore ! xxxxxx





‹(•¿•)› Rachael xx ‹(•¿•)›

[hayles]

Oh my god.....its so weird how alike we all are.

I have suffered from panics from fear of being sick for years but nothing major until about 7 months ago i had a sicknedd bug, and then started convincing myself i was dying. Brain tumor the lot.

I suffer terrible sharp head pains that make me so frightened, but i am slowly accepting that it is stress and anxiety. Some days though am still convinced that this is it....have begged my doc for MRI but to no avail and cant afford my own one!

I have had councelling and am on a very low dose of meds now, and some days all is fine!

This site was the turnaround for me...just being able to see your not alone and you are not nuts (well not completel..lol)
is great.

Pm anytime you like. We will all get through this together!

Hay x

[marie ross]

Hi,

Welcome to the site, i hope you find a lot of help here. It's horrible is'nt it, that feeling that your just going to pass out there and then, but thats anxiety for you. Have a good look around and you'll see every symtom under the sun in here, and thats all it is just anxiety. I have two children also and it is difficult, but you will get there and the panic and anxiety will gradually disappear.

Have you seen the site Miss Pink suggested, its brill, and its certainly brightened up my days!!!! I still imagine i'm having a stroke everytime i feel a twinge in my chest!!!!

Take care.

Marie XXX