Hi. I registered to this site to seek some info and guidance from people who may have or still may be going through what the way I am feeling.
Im 21, and have been a persistently worrying from as far back as I can remember. But I have been able to control my worries and anxiety up to now.
I booked a holiday with a few friends for this summer, im only back 2 weeks ago. Before the holiday I was under alot of stress, with work and trying to bring up my 5 year old son as well as trying to get my body into better shape for my holiday. I completely obessed with losing more weight when I was already below the average for my height and this did start to take over my life. On top of all this I kept on having dreams about my granda who died 2 years ago, and I have ever has anything like that before.
The time came for my holiday and I was stressed out as I didnt want to leave my son, and I was just so close on not going on it. But I went and now I wished i never bothered.
3 days into the holiday I took ill., sore stomach, lots of pain up my sides, alot of belching and diarrhea. I thought nothing off this at first as I was on holiday and I thought I had maybe ate something that didnt agree with me.
The pain was worse at night, and a few days later it just got to much for me to handle and I went to the hospital.
I went through alot of tests and scans, and was told that I had inflammation around my bowels and my kidney was also enlarged.. I wasnt so much worried about the kidney was I only have one so it would be normal for it to be that way. The doctors then told me that he would be talking to the surgical consultant as he thought my appendix would need to come out. so you can imagine me being away from home hearing this news, I freaked out big time.. The doctoer then came back to me to say I was okay to leave the hospital so I was sooo confused and I was still no better off.
I left the hospital and for the rest of my holiday its as if i was living a dream?? if that makes any sense.. Looking back i can remember certain things about the holiday but it feels like i lived it years ago instead of only a few weeks.
Since I have been back home I still feel the same, Im getting to the stage were im questioning my existence and i feel sooo far away from my son and family. I have been to my doctor who took some tests and said I had helicobacter so I have finished my tablets and I still feel no better.. I have been reading up on IBS and all the arrows seem to point to that, but what is troubling me is this feeling of im not living and im in a dream. I thought being at home around my family would make this feeling go away and to be honest its making it worse because I still feel soo far away from them even though im right beside them.