My Journey so far

[Icemaiden]

Wow what a journey it's been since i first posted here a couple of months ago.
Been on Cit since June now taking 30mgs and finally it seems to be doing it's job. Over the months I've been to hell and back, marriage broken down, been of work nearly 4 months now and the biggest blip I nearly killed myself!! but that was the turning point for me.
Waking up in AAU with needles and wires coming from everywhere and my family sitting there with worried faces was horrendous and it brought it home to me just how low I had got.
It's been a tough few months learning to live my life with some resemblance of normality but I think I'm finally getting there. I feel so much more like me again; I'm looking at going back to work in a few weeks though got to admit that scares the life out of me but I will overcome it.
I've started a new fresh life on my own and am starting to enjoy my own company and see there is so much more to life than just being someones other half, the top of the hill has been reached now I hope and things can only get better.
I can honestly say without the support of my doctor, councillor, my family and friends oh and of course the Cit i would not be here right now to post this so to anyone new to this med hang on in there it will get better you will come through.
Bright Blessings xx

[Icemaiden]

Well I now have my return to work date! as of 24/10 I can go back on a phased return and I have to admit it scares the life out of me. I've been off work for 4 months now and it's going to be hard let's hope I can cope with it!!! Wish me luck

[nicola1980]

Good luck and well done!! Im just going into wk 5 of cit, on 25mg gradually getting myself up to 30!! its been and still is at times a hard slog!!
Nicola xx

[Icemaiden]

Well due back at work in the morning after just over 4 months on sick and my anxiety levels are going through the roof, I feel sick to the pit of my stomach and know even though i need to sleep tonight i won't.
Not found myself talking in my head for a while now and the noise inside my head is starting again!!! Please tell me this is just a minor hiccup because of tomorrow morning as I really don't want to go back to how i felt 2 months ago

[AngryMonkey]

Hi Icemaiden,

I hope you've made it into work this morning. I was off work for a while a couple of years ago. I was really looking forward to going back to work but on the day, anxiety got the better of me. My boss ended up driving round to my house, picking me up and taking me in. Once I'd got in, I was fine and couldn't believe I'd got myself so worked up about it.

If you have any friends or people you trust at work, get them to meet you outside and walk in with you.

I hope it goes well for you.

Angela

[Sooty]

Hi Ice hope your 1st day back at work was a pleasant one and your anxiety didnt get the better of you. iv only been off for a week so far and was due to go back tomorrow but been dreading it the whole week with my anxiety driving all over the place.. I went to the doctors and she feels like i will not cope at work right now so she has signed me off for another 2 weeks.. now im worrying about going back to work in 2 weeks!! god i hate feeling like this

[Icemaiden]

Thanks for your words of encouragement, didn't sleep well at all last night! set two alarm clocks to make sure i wouldn't oversleep. The drive into work was awful feeling sick, shaking, sweating but i made it. I've been put on a phased return so did just 4 1/2 hours and will for the rest of the week. Talk with my team manager comes tomorrow so will find out more then.
Only saw a few people outside my own dept and nearly went into full on panic when i saw my husbands car parked next to mine, he's a manager at the place i work.
But I have taken the first step and will take it one day at a time.

[Sooty]

well done you for today! they say the 1st day back is the hardest.. so hopefully its should get easier and you will fall into a routine of work again.. good luck for tomorrow..

sooty xx

[HarvestMoon]

One day at a time, take it nice and slow...you are in control, And you've come so far! Well done you! Best of luck for keeping it going, I'm sure you'll get to where you want to be.