Fear

[Wendy Nish]

Hi there,

I have a 9 year old mare whom I have had since she was 4. After various falls I became terrified; frozen with fear when on her; I have worked relentlessly over the last 5 years to combat this and just when we make progress something happens. I have an exceptional relationship with her on the ground - second to none - we are good friends and play well together. But I cannot transfer this to her back. I have tried touch field therapy and hypnosis and although this helped initially, it wasn't long before my irrational fear took over.

I know that she is a good horse; I know I should trust her; I know the more nervous I get the more panic she feels and so on. You will no doubt have heard this all before.

This is my last try! I have 5 weeks until I have a master class with Richard Maxwell. I wanted to ask how to improve my canter. But all I will be able to do at this rate, is long rein.

I have a very good instructor with, as you can imagine, fantastic patience. She assures me that I am a very good rider and in my head I know this to be true. When I dismount I can imagine myself doing everything I want to do, but as soon as I get on board I freeze!

Can you do anything?

Thanks

Wendy

Wendy

[Alexandra]

Hi Wendy

Welcome to the forum.

Im sure you will find advice & help on here with the fear you describe.

Take Care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[Paddington]

hello Wendy.When these irrational fears hit,be it ,horse riding or driving or going to the shops!It hits hard,i think cbt may work well for you,it is not a quick fix however and you may have to repeat your master class.The more you push yourself when in an anxious state the worse you feel as you are waiting to react to your fear.Have you read the first steps post on the main forum,this will give you spme good ideas too,love mary-rose.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

we are all in the same boat and can guide each other ashore

[giddy]

Hi Wendy - welcome to the site.
Love Helen

[shiv]

Hello there and welcome,

I know how these irrational phobias can hit out of the blue even if it's a fear of something you've loved for many years.

I used to love flying then one year I went on holiday and that was it, the fear just jumped up on me on the way to the airport.

You CAN overcome this and I'm sure you will.

Shiv x

[trac67]

Hi Wendy,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

Take care
Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[Wendy Nish]

Hi there everbody! Thanks for the kind words and support; that alone helps! I have an appointment with a equine sports hypnotherapist this weekend who thinks that my fear is NOT of the horse, but an event in my past unrelated to horse riding. I will let you know how I get on! Thanks again, Wend

Wendy

[Meggy]

Hi Wendy -

I'm new here, know fear myself. I'm sympathetic but I don't feel I know enough even about my own fears to feel I can help anyone else. But I did think of something practical that might help. I'll throw it on top of the heap and you can decide. I grew up on a farm. My uncle broke our horses enough we could get a bridle on them and then it was hang on for your life. I'm not much of a horse person IOW.

But I DO know dogs. I have 8 certifications in canine husbandry and one of them is working with owners and problematic dogs which is one of two things I'm doing now. I also train service dogs. Saying problematic dogs is as much an understatement as saying the World Towers in NYC on 9/11 had a little tumble.

We live in sheep country. Herds are often as big as 500 head. These sheep live in pastures with usually about 3 aussies keep them huddled and a Great Pyrenees circling in the distance to protect from predators such as bears, mountains lions, wolverines, etc. I live in an isolated part of the high mountains, we have serious predators so we have serious protective dogs. GH's often weigh 150 pounds. They also can have schizophrenia from inbreeding and many of the GS's around here do. What happens is the rancher's GS's get elderly and they want to retire them as the family pet. These GS's may not see or be touched by humans for weeks. They're partly, sometimes mostly feral and you can't train a feral 150 pound dog to become docile and sleep on the end of your bed. These dogs also outweigh me by quite a bit, they're more vicious than me (at times - one of my current problems is rage). Many have to be put down due to age and impossibility of socialization. But there are a few that can be salvaged.

Growing up with horses that bit, kicked, threw, bucked, stopped suddenly and every trick they knew, throwing me to the ground and now working with very large partially feral dogs, plus my training has taught me something. Animals are unbelievably keen to how WE feel. I'm not going through a secure time of my life. I feel fear often, panic, anger. If I am? I might as well cancel any appointments I have that day because I might get attacked by one of these dogs. I have to get my head on straight, make sure I'm confident, my posture is relaxed but my shoulders are squared before I approach these dogs. Also horses don't speak English. Neither do dogs so I don't try. The minute I see those ears start back, staring me down, anything aggressive I make a loud SSHHH sound, and it stops. If they do something good they get a pat. That's it. They should be good, so I don't excessively praise them. I have to know in my heart that I am smarter than the dog, I'm the leader of their pack.

I don't know if that is good practical advice crossing over to horses or not but I do remember my horse on the farm I grew up on I was so afraid of because he used to bite me very hard. My uncle taught me the theory of getting my head on straight before approaching my horse. If I remember right, it helped.

Good luck.

[Wendy Nish]

Just read your note, Meggy! Good advice, thanks! It is hard when you are an animal lover not to treat them all as pets, but this can cause trouble. You are right to say you don't praise too much when they are good - because they are meant to be! My instructor is fed up telling me, 'stop saying good girl - she's just doing what you expect her to do!' What frightens you?


Wendy

[Wendy Nish]

Hi Alexander, how are you doing tonight?


Wendy