Appointment with the specialist

[Gemma T]

Well My appointment with the specialist is next tuesday. Feel like ive waited forever.

Thing is i dont want to go. I know im fearful I have oral cancer but Im also scared my fears will be confirmed.

My anx has been so good lately (with the help of cbt) but this appointment has set me back. I was poking and prodding my tongue two weeks ago and am convinced ive found a lump under my tongue. Cant see it but is there under the skin. I havnt felt for it since because i scared myself so much but since then that side of my tongue feels sore and uncomfortable. Mind over matter? Probaly as listerine doesnt make it hurt.

On the plus side the bumps on the roof of my mouth arnt any bigger and ive realised then when i push them it feels like there is water under there.

Im so worried they will open up a can of worms. Roll on tuesday. Hopefully will be the end of this nightmare and the end of me forever talking about it.

Thanks for letting me voice my fears and concerns x x x

[snowgoose]

Hi Gemma
this health anxiety really is the pits.......it is so paralysing for us to move on and live each day as others do .

Want to just say that I worked in cancer care for a long time [bloody ages ]
And have never ever seen a case so young .........ever .
Our mouths and tongue have bumps galore and if dehydrated show up more ....if run down we get ulcers as you know etc .
You will have read up on this Gemma I know and scared yourself witless the wonderful Dr Google

Dont worry please ..........it is anxiety as usual the horrid bugger !!!
I TRULY BELIEVE if your docs and dentist are happy that there is no nasty stuff then you must go with the truth that no one in health care would ever let this go if you were at risk . Easier said than done I know only to well so feel for you .

You will be fine............the waiting is the awful stuff ......ruminating and fearful as we all do

Stay strong and challenge them damn thoughts that creep in..

take care Snow xx

[Gemma T]

Thank you snow goose. I've done so well, I'm very nearly back to normal. I don't ruminate half as much but its just there in the back of my mind. My therapist thinks this appointment is a road block for me.

Once its out the way I can finish what I started.

Thank you again for messaging me. Its reasurring having someone with your experience to ease my fears. I really appreciate it.

That bloody google I tell ya. Although on the plus side its led me to giving up the fags.

Love Gem x x x