"Prisoner of my own mind"

[gilmore62]

I have suffered from panic attacks for 5 years but could control them but after losing my mum to cancer in July i feel like i have crashed and burned.My mum was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and passed away a month later.
Apart from the shock i am the only family member she had and had to deal with everything myself and was able to push through the panic attacks but now i feel like i have had an overload and now cannot even leave my house without having an attack so have now been "stuck in my prison"for nearly a month.
I am having "spiritual therapy",reading books,have changed my diet but something is blocking me from moving forward.I am so scared that this will be my life for quite a while and don't know where to turn.
I only have a few people around me now you are supportive but don't want to be always putting upon them as it is so unfair.
Could anyone please offer me some advice please.
Thankyou

[empowered]

Oh you poor thing and my deepest sympathies for the loss of your mum... July wasn't so far away and you've probably been so occupied with tying up the loose ends that now you can sit back a bit, you suddenly have become aware of your anxiety levels. Having suffered agrophobia about 30 yrs ago I can relate to being trapped in the house - however the only, only way out is to envisage yourself leaving the house and perhaps walking to the gate, down the road etc. Imagine yourself doing it in a positive mindset and not riddled with "what ifs". ( I am living proof that you can get over this, albeit I've had a few blips recently but that was due to the death of my own mother and my near miss when I had pneumonia last year ).

Try not to look at the "bigger picture" but the smaller one ie what am I going to do now, in the next 5 minutes. Prepare yourself to go out, thinking positive thoughts, and if you see anybody just say hello - the more you interact with other people/things, the less you will be concentrating on yourself and how YOU feel. I'm actually of the opinion that stress/anxiety is a very selfish occurrence (I refuse to call it an illness after what I went through last year). The person is constantly tied up and tuned in to how THEY are feeling - not other people.

Have you read Dr Claire Weekes books available from this site? They are what got me through this last time and although old fashioned are very very do-able.

Treat yourself with kindness and love, don't expect to get better overnight, its taken a long time for you to reach this state but believe me, you will improve and you will gradually realise that you have having more good days than bad ones, although it will be the bad ones that you remember Try keeping a little mood diary so you can see for yourself what you are achieving - good luck and take care , Debs

[madmaz]

i dont know if i am being out ov line here so please dont take this the wrong way, but i think the thing that is blockin u is guilt, if your mam only had u who did u have only u, so u put up a wall and pushed everything behind it but the guilt u feel has knocked it down and thats because u blame yourself 4 not being able 2 do something more. take every day as it comes the spiritual therapy will take time but it will help, i hope im not out ov line saying what ive said, i hope u get better real soon xx