here we go ... fingers crossed

[lotus]

Just wanted to share... this is my first post in this section. I'm generally against the use of meds, I don't believe in them much, but I've come to a point where I think there is just no way for me to get better unless I give meds a try. I feel somewhat guilty ... for wanting an easier way out, but at the same time, I think I've suffered enough already and deserve some extra help. I've been fighting with this for 2 years on my own and yes, there is progress, but it's not significant enough. I'm scared too, of the side effects mostly. I'm also afraid that maybe I will be disappointed if the meds don't work the way I expect them too, which will make me even more depressed. But in life nothing is certain right ... there's no guarantees. You take a chance and just hope for the best.

In the state that I'm in I can't benefit much from psychotherapy. I think maybe if I get even a little bit better I will be able to beat this. So I visited a new doctor today. He was highly recommended by a friend of my father's. He prescribed Seropram (I think that's the same as Citalopram, Celexa and Cipramil) and Rivtoril (Clonazepam , I think, it's a tranquilizer). And I guess I'm starting tomorrow morning ... I expect the worst, but I hope for the best.

[jackie]

oh try to be brave as i have the fear of meds and i know how it feels to start them

were all here if you need us

jackie

[lotus]

Hi, it's me again. A little update and some questions:


So I started taking Citalopram in the beginning of June, I think it was June 2nd. For 4 days I took 10 mg, then 4 days I took 20 mg, and from then on I've been taking 30 mg every day (the prescribed dose). It's been a little more than a month now and I certainly feel better (I'm also taking a tranquilizer - half a tablet of Cloneazepam 0.5 mg 3 times per day) but I still have occasional high anxiety and light panic attacks, I'm still scared to go to places away from home alone, meaning that the agoraphobia is not completely gone even though I go out almost every day, which I didn't do before. I also have some confused thinking and racing thoughts. But I'm definitely feeling much better than before starting the meds. I had absolutely no bad side effects when starting the meds apart from very very light nausea and some sleepiness. The only problem is that I'm losing weight because I have no apetite, but I'm working on it.

I also have a problem with my psychiatrist. He told me that I am developing anorexia (!!!) because I like myself the way I am now (a bit thinner than before because of the weight loss due to the meds). He thinks that I have a distorted self image and that I look awful! He said that he is saying that as a doctor, and as a man ! I don't wanna lose anymore weight, on the contrary - I wanna gain some kgs and become physically fit. I wanna GAIN weight, not LOSE weight and I am certainly not anorexic ! I am 1.62 m / 41 kg (sorry, I don't know the British measurements, that's in meters and kilograms) which is not that bad. What he said really shocked me and disappointed me.

Apart from that he thinks that he has to increase the dosage of the Citalopram to 40 mg because I've been taking it for a whole month and I'm still not completely symptom-free ( still have agoraphobia, occasional light panics and increased anxiety, etc) . Am I supposed to be completely symptom-free after a month of taking an SSRI??? I'm totally confused, and I DON'T want to increase the Citalopram. What should I do? How much time should pass before I feel the full effect of the antidepressant? I think I should wait before increasing anything but I don't know, I'm just confused. All I can say is yes, I feel better, but I'm not anxiety-free. Yet.

I would really appreciate any advice, I'm totally lost and confused. And I'm most definitely changing the psychiatrist ! Awful man !

[buxy99]

sorry to be a party poop here but i was on an ssri and i felt more anxious on it,These drugs are not a cure they mask the symptoms by messing with your nervous system and brain chemicals.
I understand the desperation when you are suffering,but please only take these drugs for short term use,i was left on them 6 years and the withdrawal has been worse than anything i have ever suffered in my life.
Hope things settle down soon

[Two heads]

Hi lotus!
My meds took a while to work,im on citalopram as well.Im on 20mg but started on 10 then moved up to 15 then 20mg over a three month period.I think its best to up them slowly as when coming off reduce slowly.I personally dont think a month is long enough to be upping them to this much,but then im no doc.They wont be at there full affect yet it haset been long enough.At around three months they should be!I hope this helps and doesnt confuse you even morexxx