Feeling stressed and bit down

[heths]

I'm posting just to write down all what's on my mind. I've been feeling so tense and on and off a bit down with everything.

First of all I have an appointment tomorrow to be taken out with my home support worker. I've done it before but it always makes me anxious and as i'm getting further now it is scaring me more.

Also I get tense when my dad is off work. He's off today and tomorrow for bank holiday and as much as I love my mum and dad, I hate saying this but at times they make me feel stressed, with all the rushing about and just how they do things really. And also we live in a bungalow so I can't go upstairs if I want quiet, and because i'm agoraphobic and can't get far yet, I can't go for a walk either.

Also I'm concerned about my boyfriend because of all he has going on right now aswell. He gets stressed and upset with my anxiety problems, plus his new boss is a real pain in the neck, she keeps telling him to go faster and faster and other things she does aswell and I wish she'd lay off him. And this weekend he found out his nan only has a few weeks to live. And he's dealing with everything but I can tell it's affecting him cos I saw him this weekend and he was snappy on and off and I felt I couldn't say the right things to him.

Heather

[May Day]

Hi Heather

Sorry you're feeling so anxious as the moment. YOu've made progress with going out so try to think about that rather than focusing on the negative side of feeling scared about going further. If you feel your support worker is asking you to go too far then talk to her about it as i'm sure she'll understand.

I undestand how you feel about having your dad at home even though you love him. I feel the same way when my husband is home as it can seem like life suddenly takes on a faster pace than i want. Sometimes it's the fact that things need to be done a different way or at a different time that throws me out and i instantly tense up with anxiety about it. I know it's also difficult when you feel there is 'no escape' as i used to live in a very small house and felt there was no where to get away for a few minutes peace. The bathroom was often the only real place to escape so maybe you could try a nice warm bath for half an hour just to calm down.

Your boyfriends problems are his and not yours. I know that might sound cruel but you have to concentrate on getting yourself well. While i admire any one that wants to help others around them, you simply cannot take on the resposibility for him. It's very sad news about his nan but worrying will not make the situation change at all. It has to be accepted, sad as it is to do that.

I hope things improve for you both. Take care

May

The brightest, sunniest day may follow the darkest, stormiest night ... enjoy the sun

[Piglet]

I would really try and focus on the things you are able to do rather than the things you cant. If you listed down all the positives about yourself and your life they would far outweigh the negatives.

You are gettin out mate albeit slowly and this is only a temporary stage and will change as you grow in confidence - btw I do totally identify as agoraphobia is my main issue too at the moment.

Love Piglet

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Heather,

Gosh I'm sorry you are having a bad time of it right now. Do you think you Dad would let you have space in the garden? Would you be able to go out there? I also think May's idea of a calm bath is a great one.

As for your boyfriend, try to understand that he is not being snappy at you, he is just going through a rough time too.

As for your home support worker well it is scary to venture out further but without going out beyond our fears there is not progress is there? Remember how you praised me on my flying to California? Well I conquered a huge fear, but I had to board the plane first. I'm not saying to go way out on a limb where you will be terrified, don't push yourself too far, just baby steps. It is normal to feel anxiety when we are going beyond our comfort zone. This is progress Heather, I'm so proud of you.

Bel

[scoobygirl2005]

Hi.

Try and relax, do something to take your mind off things. If you want to get away from your parents for a bit then shut yourself in your bedroom and listen to some music or something.

Have you told your support worker how you are feeling about all this? Hopefully your anxiety will settle a little more once you are used to go outing with them.

As for your boyfriend, am sure he doesn't mean to be snappy as you said he has a lot going on, the best thing you can do is just be there for him at this time.

Try not to worry and keep smiling.

Scooby2005
x x

[heths]

Thank you all for your advice, it is much appreciated.

I had a bath not long ago and that did help relax my tense muscles. My boyfriend would like me to think more of myself aswell. I will try not to worry about him so much, it is hard but i'll try.

Thank you,
Heather