Chat room ...... Again!!!!!!!

[Spice]

Since the incident in the chatroom a few weeks back that I am sure many of you will remember, I have rarely been on the site but started to come back on last week. Tonight I thought I would give the chatroom another go and at first the conversation was fine until keitharcher came in and said he had a sore back and I said that I could sympathise as I have back problems. I also said that I have a bulge on my disc and that if the bulge grows i could be paralysed!!! I was met with LOL from a few members and a comment from keith that he has a bulge too!!!!
The main reason for my anxiety problem is my back problem and having body scans and living with the uncertainty of the situation and the fact that I dont know what the future holds. The surgeon cannot operate as it might make things worse for me so I have to endure pain and no feeling in my right foot etc., and this is what I get from people in here!!!!

I have asked Nicola in a PM to delete my account and I have given her my email address as I will not be logging on to the site again.

[eeyorelover]

I really wish that you wouldn't leave us :(
It's terrible that you have such back problems!! Must be really scary living with that kind of uncertainty.
I wasn't in chat and all I can say is that sometimes I have been guilty of being so wrapped up in my own problems that I haven't been as sensitive as a could be to other peoples. It is something that I have worked on and have to be evermindful of as to not hurt anyone's feelings.
There are so many great people on here and so much information that I really hope that even if you choose not to back into chat, you could still come on the forum.
If you do choose to leave us please know that you will be missed and that you are always welcome to come back if you decide to.
Good luck and God bless

[mum2four]

Are you here to get to better or to let people scare toy away from somewhere you fit in. No matter where yu go you will not get alone with everyone and you expect this site to be perfectly safe placeto be al the time you'll never get better. Face this issuse and fight to gain control over you anxiety and dont let ptople being silly get bthe better of your anxiety.

If you ran away from the site you run away away form everything in you life and you need to make a stand at some point and here is the safest place to do that. If you expaect people to act in way you feel safe 100 percent of thew time you will never get over the axioety you have enought tomdeal with your fear in the real world face to face.

Did you ask the person nicly to repect you feelings and try not talk about something that make your anxiety worse too much. I dont think you can expect a person to perfect specialy on thus sitye where many people need to wind down and feel safe ect. but If you never asked them to refrain from talking to much or in to much detail about the topic that sets you anxiety off then that can never have the chance to be repectfull of that. If thay chooce to be disrepectfull of your fear tell them so nicly and leave the room to post about your fear maybe it not the other people so much as you over senitivity to your fear. Thay may not have realised thay over stepped a mark when it come to your fear and you may not fully reallise that you extra sensative to the converstaion as much as you as.

DONT RUN
stay an fight your anxiety here now and never give oin to it

what dose not brake you make you stronger thay say but I say everything you stand and fight for will make you stonger.

Are you scared of something you dont know you scared of or are you really ready to face the fear you face cause running will not make you feel better EVA. Running will make you anxiety over this topic worse and taking a brack for while was good and trying again was good but nyou need to keep doing that untill you can be in the room and see a conversation on your fear and beable to stay there and read it and tsalk about it.

I used to leave when eva I saw a my topic of fear and still do leqave som days but I can come back sooner now. I can talk about them longer and I can deal with them better but ruuning would never have made them better. Sticvk around and give you fears time to pass slowly.

[scoobygirl2005]

Hi Spice.

Are you sure they were saying lol to you? They may have said it to something else before. Please don't leave the site. You will find lots of support and help on here hunni. Please rethink leaving, none of us want you to leave.

Scooby2005
x x

[tnt808]

First of all I am sorry you had a bad experience in chat...

Second, Keitharcher is one of the kindest, funniest people in chat. He is a great listener and offers great advice. He jokes around a bit, but he is a "fixer" and would've been of great use to you..maybe your timing was off a bit because keith is a wonderful person!

I hope you end up coming back and seeing what we all see w/this site and w/chat.

Good luck,

Tina

[mirry]

spice,
I can understand how upseting your back problems are,
I was born with 3 discs missing from my spine with my ribs all fused together and I have a twist in my spine and my collar bone isnt straight.
They are concerned about my left arm going numb and it is scarey living with it.

Im sorry youve had a bad time in chat,
please PM me anytime,
mirry

mirryx

[Southern_Belle]

Spice,

I too am sorry that you have had bad experiences in the chatroom. Although I was not in the room at the time, I am in there quite a bit and agree that most of the people could have been laughing at something else. KeithArcher is truly one of the most helpful people on this site and would never offend you on purpose, he was just joking, which he does quite often. I'm sure if he knew you had taken offense he would have not done it. I do hope you give this site and chat another chance.

Bel

"Our thoughts are our reality"

[Keitharcher]

Spice

as the perpertrator of this thread and due to the fact that you took umbridge at what i said in jest i can only apologise. I asure I use humour as a tool not as a malicious instrument. I remember the incident and also remember that i did not get a chance to apologise to you in the chat room, so i will take that opportunity now. I never make light of anyones illnes having had such a close call my self in the recent months. I hope I am usually symapathetic and usually try to not only allay peoples fears of illnes but also hopefully help them to see a side of the illness that puts it into some perspective for them and allows them to deal with it.

I thank the people who have replied to this thread for their testimonials as to my intentions being non malicious

keith

[sophieunderscore]

Whilst I understand why you were upset I can honestly say Keith would never ever upset anyone. He's got me through some really rough times and and although he's a *bit* of a flirt he's a wonderful caring guy and he would never intentionally say anything to make someone feel down.

I'm sorry about your back problems but please don't leave the site, sometimes it does get a bit silly on chat but if you ask nicely someone would be more than happy to have a private chat with you about things, if I was in there I would have.

Please stay xx[V]