Telling my tutor I suffer from anxiety??

[br19893]

I am on my final year at college and applying to uni. My grades are fine but my attendance has gone down to 50% because some days i just cant face going in! no one in my family or at college knows that I have an anxiety disorder so they just think I'm lazy and cant be bothered. Today i had a meeting about my attendance and my tutor asked me if there was any reason why I hadn't been coming in. The way that she asked was spiteful like she knew there wasn't, so at the risk of sounding like I was making excuses I said no. Now she's given up on me and said my chances of getting into uni are slim. I want her to understand so that she can be more considerate and not give me such a bad reference but I don't know how to tell her! Any suggestions?

[lizzie29]

Have you seen a doctor about your anxiety? If so, they could write a note, but you may have to pay for it.

If you're not comfortable with saying it, maybe you could email her? Then if you were to meet her after that, she's already know. Might make it easier.

Depression and anxiety are becoming more talked about and more prevalent amongst young people, so it's unlikely you're the first student they're had with something like this.

Good luck!

[vicky23]

aww bless you I honestly can't imagine how hard and irritating that is!!
I don't have any practical suggestions but just encouragement that like lizzie said emotional health issues are more frequently talked about now, I think it's really important you do talk to someone at college so you can get the support you need.

[eight days a week]

I know it may be hard, but I think the best thing you can do is go back and see your tutor and explain your condition. The sooner you can do it the better it will be.

All the best

[HarvestMoon]

is there a student support office, or similar, at college that you could talk to?

[emu12]

I've just had to handle the exact same situation but in my final year of university, at the moment you are predicting what your tutor is thinking or what they might say. They're probably used to having lazy students but if you email her/him and ask to meet them at a certain time, maybe write down what youre going to say and then just tell them everything, you will probably be very surprised how understanding they will be. To be a teacher or work with students, you need to be somewhat compassionate towards people. Just give it a go, if they dont understand then at least you have tried and can then try other options but if you dont try then you will never know

[Tish]

I am on my final year at college and applying to uni. My grades are fine but my attendance has gone down to 50% because some days i just cant face going in! no one in my family or at college knows that I have an anxiety disorder so they just think I'm lazy and cant be bothered. Today i had a meeting about my attendance and my tutor asked me if there was any reason why I hadn't been coming in. The way that she asked was spiteful like she knew there wasn't, so at the risk of sounding like I was making excuses I said no. Now she's given up on me and said my chances of getting into uni are slim. I want her to understand so that she can be more considerate and not give me such a bad reference but I don't know how to tell her! Any suggestions?

I want you to be brave and tell your tutor that you have a problem, once you've done that you will have understanding and help. My son started teaching at uni this year and he told me about a girl who approached him with the same problem and I was really proud at the way he handled it. There are a lot of students who come from different cultures and this girl explained that the way she'd been taught, there was no interaction between student and teacher, she was more comfortable with just being 'talked to' therefore she was shy and embarrassed if she was asked to speak in lectures. Once you've explained your problem and how you would like to be treated, you can work together, handling it in the way you would like. Most people know that anxiety exists, even if they don't have a clear understanding of it and most people ARE kind. Unfortunately though, if you can't bring yourself to explain how you feel, assumptions will be made. You could do this face to face or by email, whatever you're most comfortable with. Remember, anxiety is a condition, not a weakness. I don't think you'd forgive yourself in the future if you were to give up without trying. Good luck, T x