Hi everyone. This is quite unusual and a relief for me to actually post on here that I do get very depressed. I don't tell anyone this specifically though my husband knows how fed up I get what with my mood swings and so on. My mum had a stroke before Christmas and although she's recovered she is very low and obsesively worries about having another one. I can see when she's talking to me that I'm exactly like her, nervy, depressed, a worrier etc and can see myself going down the same path. I'm jumpy all the time, constantly worrying about what people think of me. My body goes into overdrive just going for a check-up at the dentist, shaking etc and I seem to get worse. Physically, I'm a bit of a mess which doesn't help my mental state. I have irritable bowel, sinus problems, recurrent cystitis, nothing anyone can see but enough to make me tired and low all the time. Every day, I think what's the point, although I'll never act on it as I have two great daughters and people relying on me. I know I don't really want to die, I just really want to LIVE and I don't feel I am. I am phobic about illnesses, not the big things, just these stupid little things that I have to cope with and carry on my life every day. I feel every day I'm losing a bit more of my grip and soon I'll stop appearing so "normal" and start crying or screaming or something. Thanks to this forum for letting me write this. I feel so caught up in the middle of this sometimes it's hard to think. Teresa.