OCD about HIV

[Bakerman]

Hi....
I know there are a few posts similar - but i wanted to share this and get any advice if poss?
About 8 years ago, my life hit abit of a low point - came out of a relationship and went a bit 'mad' in the sense of (stupidly) sleeping around with and without protection.....anyway, to cut a long story short, i had the batch of STD tests down the local clinic - all negative. A short while after, i met my now wife, then about 18 months later, developed STD symptoms - went back to the clinic and - together with my wife - had all the tests again (including HIV) - both all clear, apart from i'd got NSU. After antibiotics, all clear. I put it all behind me and never gave it another thought - until getting prostatitis almost 2 years ago. After googling myself silly, i've convinced myself that those test results could've been wrong in some way? Yet i know they were ok. A while back my wife had glandular fever for 3 weeks - on top of that i've noticed a slight white/yellow-ish coating on my tongue - i've also lost weight in recent months, gone from a size 36 waist to 34(though this could be something to do with swimming 3 times a week, and having quite a physical job!)
My wife thinks i'm being silly but i do have OCD and despite part of my brain thinking i actually have HIV, i also have a morbid fear of needles and worry that i'm treading on discarded syringes in the street - sometimes i have to check underneath my car door handle when i open it in case anyone's stuck a syringe under there. Sounds daft doesn't it?
Can anyone offer any help?

[sugarpuff]

Hi Bakerman

your post struck a cord with me, i have exactly the same problem, so its not daft and you not alone i have been like this for a little over 2 years now, and been through 2 therapists, talking and hypnotherapy, finally in Jan this year my second counsellor diagnosed OCD, currently on 10mg citalopram which has helped ALOT, and im on a waiting list for CBT, talking therapy whilst good at one level, makes you more self aware , does not help to change the wrong thinking patterns that we have.
My story is a long long one, and would be happy to share with you, but suffice to say that i share the fear of discarded needles, not as bad as i was though, along with lots of other fearful thoughts all surrounding the same thing, i actually tested 3 times now all negative but it never changed anything just fed the anxiety!
if you have not done so already speak to your GP, im not saying that AD's are the way to go, i had to change twice before i found one that worked for me , but do seek some help, and dont keep it to yourself , only my husband new what was going on in april 1 1/2 years later i finally started to tell family and some friends what had been going on and as it turns out it runs in my family, my grandad had mental illness although there was no such thing as OCD all those years ago.
it has not gone away im not cured, but i manage it better now, i still have bad days, but seem to have more good than bad

take care xx

[clayzor]

Bakerman, I don't know if this will make you feel any better. But OCD has a strong correlation to histamine; which stimulates metabolism, supresses appetite and increases allergies. Most guys who have OCD have high histamine levels, which means you probably will lose weight when you are being moderately active or at the least maintain a lean body weight.