Freaked out by my own existence? help please?!?!

[mck]

Hi everyone
Sorry I havent replied on my old thread it wont let me for some reason.
but can anyone relate to this? if so please help me I dont know if this is depersonalization or what but i feel really freaked out in my own skin, I think to myself why do I exist? why am I this person? where did my personality come from? It's like someones slapped me in the face with reality and I cant handle it.I go outside and its like omg were floating around on a rock around a star wtf! it almost sounds like a joke and I dont know what to do? im freaking out and I dont know what to do.im thinking about everything to do with existence and i dont know how to control it, it makes me panic but really panic like im on the brink of loosing my sanity!
Can anyone please relate or tell me how i can handle this?

[Carys]

Hiyer, there was a thread quite similar to this one a few weeks ago I think, with other people feeling very similarly to you. I will see if I can find it and post the link.....

---------- Post added at 17:33 ---------- Previous post was at 17:31 ----------

LOL

Just found it and seen it WAS your thread you were rreferring to above......you had quite a few replies.......

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthr...ht=existential

I really understand the feelings you are getting, as I said on the earlier thread, I had them myself for quite some time when I was younger and know plenty of others who have also. I don't know quite what you would label it as, but I know it is part of anxiety.

[mck]

Hi Carys ,
Lol yeah it wont let me reply in it for some reason :S god knows!
but thanks for your reply, and I dont really know what i'd call it but it makes me feel like a completely weird guy! I've looked up some stuff on depersonalization and i think its something to do with that but yeah its all being fuelled by anxiety. I just dont really know how to handle it.

[Carys]

Its a tough one this one, as there are no answers that can be given about the questions you are asking. If anyone had those answers then it would save a lot of people a lot of soul-searching and question-asking. I expect that it was started by and is fuelled by depersonalisation, but coupled with that is that it is also natural to want to 'find answers' and question things. It is just that some people would ask questions about life, the universe and everything, and then think....oh well...I dunno....shall I have fish fingers for tea ? (and then go off and forget it and not let it bother them) Due to high levels of anxiety, your mind is fixated on certain things, relating to yourself, your body and your thoughts, so you are not finding that you are able to be distract from your thoughts.
I can't emphasise enough how much I can relate to exactly what you are describing, for me it was many many moons ago when I felt this way, but I know it is not a joke and not funny. To question your very being and reality knocks away all security in your life, and feels like there is no purpose or meaning. It is frightening. This is why (and please nobody shout at me for saying thism I am using this as an example to show how the human race has struggled through the ages with those 'big questions') a lot of people 'find' a religion as it instills some meaning into those unanswerable questions.
Please try and reassure yourself that you won't always feel this way, once you start being able to focus on things external to your own thoughts and feelings it will lessen the preoccupation with the 'big questions'.

[mck]

Thankyou Carys you have made me feel abit better about the situation! and its better knowing someone else has been through this and come out the other side, how did you manage to cope with this?
''It is just that some people would ask questions about life, the universe and everything, and then think....oh well...I dunno....shall I have fish fingers for tea ?'' I hope the day will come when I can do this! lol

[Carys]

Hiyer, I'm not entirely sure how I came out of it....it was such a long time ago...over 25 years ago. I suspect that I just found things that felt like they gave me purpose and distracted me from the questions, things that fascinated me to the point that I forgot the endless searching thoughts. I also came to accept that I would not be able to answer the questions, I told myself that maybe, at some time in the future, there would be answers....but not here and now.....so I have to make my own reality what was here and now. This is probably sounding whiffly, sorry. lol

I didn't 'cope' very well at the start of the thoughts, it got me in a right panic, like you are now. I think you just 'get through it and come out the other side', wiser and stronger. I've had the odd reminder of these thoughts now and again and I find that if I force myself to communicate with other people, to connect to others emotionally that this helps to 'ground' me. It draws you away from your own self analysis and can be a small thing, like - making a gift for somebody else, making a plan to walk through the park and smile/say good morning to anyone you see, make a deliberate effort to talk to the old lady in the post office queue. Interaction with people works for me as a way to halt self analysis, it might work for you ?

[mck]

Thanks very much Carys,
I feel like i'm kind of getting there with this now hopefully it will go away soon but thankyou very much!

[ka]

I know this isn't very helpful cos I don't have a solution, but I do get the same thing as you. It happens less now that it used to. Freaking out about existence, what am I doing here, blah blah blah. I think those thoughts have got less intense cos I told myself that I would never find satisfactory answers to those questions unless I showed myself some compassion and dealt with my underlying anxiety issues... the meaning of life can wait until I'm stronger and happier and ready to find it! Of course I may never find it, but never mind, I've done my best to look after myself and do what I can for my health and sanity in life! xx

[monte]

Hey, I have the same exact issue. But after about 5 years of dealing with it. I feel as if it's spiritual havibg to do with our existence and evolution. No matter what God you believe in I find that it goes away when you love people and you connect with them in some loving way. I'm usually a relaxed person but those thoughts can drive me insane. Literally. Hopefully this helps. Ultimately I've decided that we're hear to love. I believe that's why I have those attacks. Kind of a reminder to look at the big picture. We're all one. Take care. ✌

[ovo]

Hi,i'm new to this and i really need methods or ways of getting through this. I have been having thoughts about my existence and how i came about and how people and things around my came about and if i dwell on it too long i get scared because it's frightening but, i really can't help it. I try my best to just think normal but it just doesn't work.. Help?