Paranoia... Again!!!

[Natalie x]

Hi. I just wondered if anyone can relate to this at all. Over the last couple of months, I have been feeling paranoid about certain situations. It started with paranoia about my work as I began to get busier and take on more work. I kept checking over everything making sure I done it right. I managed to get it under control for a while and I seem to be trying to have a more positive attitude when it comes to work. It's not doing me any favours at the end of the day.

It then was being paranoid about things I've said or done in front of my friends and if they're angry at me for something I said or done and worrying until I heard from them. Then I would know that they were okay with me.

Last night, my family and I were out for my Mum's birthday and I drove her and my boyfriend there to meet with the others. I didn't have a clue where I was going, or see anything due to the weather and it being pitch black outside and then got into a right tizzy cause I couldn't find a space to park in or see out the windows. I was fine once I got out and into the restaurant and then was telling the others about the nightmare it was to get to. It wasn't until today that I started getting paranoid incase I ruined the night even though we all had a great time and didn't moan after I told everyone what had gone on and then we had a small get together and my Mum looked like she had a really good time and so did all of us and were laughing away.

I keep asking my boyfriend for re-assurance and he promises that nothing happened. Why can't I take his word for it? Why do I keep going over it in my head?

x

[Natalie x]

Hi there. Thank you for your reply. It is much appreciated I asked my Mum yesterday twice if I have spoiled it for herand she said no. I just keep going over the situation in my head and over analysing it thinking 'did I say this or do that' worrying if I had done anything to ruin it. I just really wanted her to have a good night as she deserves it and it's her special birthday. I just constantly want to please people and everything to go right so you are absolutely right when u say that.

My Mum did say at the end of the night that she wishes she wasn't working the next day and could have stayed longer and she did look as though she had a good time. I'm just worrying I did anything in the restaurant or because I went in and was telling everyone about my experience trying to find the place as I didn't want it to sound as though it was all about me. I just got myself into a tizzy over it all.

My boyfriend keeps promising he would have told me if I done anything but I keep going over it. How did you manage to get these feelings to subside? Do you have any tips? x

---------- Post added at 22:55 ---------- Previous post was at 22:53 ----------

Hi there. Thank you for your reply. It is much appreciated I asked my Mum yesterday twice if I have spoiled it for herand she said no. I just keep going over the situation in my head and over analysing it thinking 'did I say this or do that' worrying if I had done anything to ruin it. I just really wanted her to have a good night as she deserves it and it's her special birthday. I just constantly want to please people and everything to go right so you are absolutely right when u say that.

My Mum did say at the end of the night that she wishes she wasn't working the next day and could have stayed longer and she did look as though she had a good time. I'm just worrying I did anything in the restaurant or because I went in and was telling everyone about my experience trying to find the place as I didn't want it to sound as though it was all about me. I just got myself into a tizzy over it all.

My boyfriend keeps promising he would have told me if I done anything but I keep going over it. How did you manage to get these feelings to subside? Do you have any tips? x

[jaded jean]

Hi Natalie.
I think we all tend to over anylize stuff we do to make sure we are not messing up in front of our friends and family . its the 'crowd pleaser thing. most anxiety sufferers have this -this is because you have to be seen to be doing everything correctly and not 'screwing it up' so to speak. You did admirably well on your mums birthday by the looks of it and if your boyfriend says you didnt mess up then enjoy the compliment.
I remember taking my great niece to college in Milton Keynes ( not a favourite place to drive) and it was night time it was after rush hour but the way I was driving it could have been!! I got lost I didnt concentrate and I jumped 3 red lights at a huge roundabout!! luckily there was no other traffic going through at the same time!!
So dont worry you arent alone in this .
Jean

[Natalie x]

Hi Jean. Thanks for your reply and for sharing your experience with me. I am trying to think rationally about it and the 'crows pleaser' situation I can totally understand. It wasa her 40th birthday (I have a yummy mummy :P) and she deserves so much to be happy and I just wanted everything to be perfect and not for me to put a dampner on it. It was just before we got into the restaurant and as I say just a wee moan when I got there to tell my grandparents etc. But I knew myself to stop as it was my Mum's night and she was to enjoy it. So why can't I tell myself that the night went really well?! All this paranoia is driving me nuts, seriously! P.s I am totally the same with driving, I too would be totally paranoid about going through red lights etc. It is torture! .Do you have any tips on how to control my paranoia? x

[jaded jean]

Like you I have to say for gods sake just stop it! An old remedy and its still used now is wearing an elastic band on your wrist -and everytime you feel the what ifs or whatevers coming on just snap the band a little to jolt you back -it works when you start to panic as well. You can always reflect on other situations and how you got through them . Remember ALWAYS congratulate yourself on your successes and let other people know that 'hey I did it' . Keep strong and be determined xxxx Jean