So I can remember having OCD from the age of about 8 I am now 25. Over the years it has changed a little in what I do and how much I do it. Here are a list of some of the things I do, I will add that what I do is driven by a fear that if I do or don't do something then something bad will happen to me or people I love, I suffer from health anxiety and my OCD is worse around this time

Touching things a certain number of times
Not doing or saying things I want as feel if I do something bad will happen
Swallowing a certain number of times
Not wearing certain things
Not texting things I want to say
Bad feeling when picking a item in a shop have to pick the one that feels right even tho they are all the same


I have had counselling for this and it worked for a while but with my health anxiety high it is now back. I get a voice in my head saying "no don't say that as then this will happen" that's an example but I get this so many times a day in lots of different ways. It is beggining to take over my life again stopping me or making me do things I don't want to do.


I learnt to ride out the urge to do these things a few months back, but now I really feel that if I don't do what the urge tells me to then I will be the cause if something bad happening! A rational mind would think this is crazy but in the moment it's so real and scary and it's easier to give in to the urge then to worry that because I didn't something bad will happen. Actually writing this has made me realise how mad it sounds but will that help me no I don't think it will.