diary of a fluoxetine user

[lauz_lea]

I'm hoping the worst is nearly over for you, the first couple of weeks can be extremely hard and feel like an eternity, you just want someone who can relate to how you're feeling.

Having tonsilitis has no doubt made you feel REALLY aweful in addition to side effects and has probably contributed to the poor sleep you've been having, and the sweating.

From all the posts I've read, and my own experiences, AD's can send us to hell and back with the initial side effects but they settle down gradually and without realising it, one day you just notice they've gone and you feel "normal" again. Normality creeps up on you so slowly and gradually that you don't always notice it.

I really hope you have the strength to persevere for a while longer. We all want to be better NOW, from day 1, and many out there experience little or no side effects (which makes me so jealous) and start to feel better by week 2.

We're all different and will experience different levels of SE's on different AD's, but the side effects mean it's doing something.

[sickandtired]

Thanks Lauz
this is the encouragement I need.
tingly, doom and gloom feeling all last night,left me wondering what the hell I was doing,putting myself through this.....then I gave my head a wobble,and again said to myself "ITS JUST SE's" !!!
but I awoke at 6;30 this morning,instead of 3/4/5 am so some progress.Want some normality back for next week,I still have half my Xmas shopping to do and I havent written one single Xmas card out.
thanks again

[lauz_lea]

Trust me, I know just how you're feeling. It's an uphill battle but you just can't seem to see the top. Some days we stumble back on ourselves a little which can be disheartening but it makes the good days feel all the better.

I have spent days wondering why I'm putting myself through feeling so awful when I wasn't feeling this bad to begin with but I have to take heart in that fact, I wasn't feeling this bad to begin with so it can ONLY be side effects. I'm not losing my marbles, I'm not going mad etc.

If you get jittery or tingly or feel anxious it may help to understand what's causing it - its partly from a build up of adrenaline and the best thing to do, if you can is move. Have a vigorous shower, jump up and down, run up and down the stairs or go for a walk, burn it off, I've found this helps me tremendously.

[sickandtired]

Yes,I do feel much better if I DO something.My Mum said to make a list of all the things i hate doing,and slowly get them done,afterwards....I,ll feel such an acheivement.
Usually I let my ironing pile up,but this past week,Ive been doing a little every day...
and ,it does help take my mind off things for a while.
I awoke early this morning with such a feeling of dread,but I was adamant I wasnt staying in bed feeling sorry for myself.I literally dragged myself up,had a cuppa,then started tidying up.......I was actually outside feeding the rabbits at 7;15 am and putting extra bedding in,coz it had snowed.Just knowing that one job was done made me feel a bit brighter.....could the fluoxetine be working already?
My Mum also said,I had to help myself too,and not rely on the medication......recovery will be quicker that way.
cant wait to have a really good day,and post on here....give hope to others
thanks again for the encouragement,you,ve no idea how much it helps

[lauz_lea]

Believe me, I know how much the encouragement helps! Two weeks ago I was at my wits end and nearly gave up on my meds too. I couldn't believe it had only been two weeks that I'd felt so horrendous, it felt like forever. I still have a few off days here and there but it hasn't even been 5 weeks yet and I'm not up to my full dose either.

We search for good news, reassurances and positive posts/threads to lift our spirits and make us feel positive that we're doing the right thing and quite often we find them, but sometimes it can lead us to reading something that gets us down or gives us doubts which can damage our progress - in a few weeks you'll be offering your own words of encouragement to others going through what you're going through right now (with the exception that they won't have tonsilitis, which has no doubt made you feel so much worse than just dealing with the AD side effects alone).

I slumped a little today and felt anxiety building a bit, so I got off my bottom and went for a vigorous walk, within 1 minutes the jitters and anxiety started to fade (but then I had to queue in the Post Office which just wound me up). I did a few of the things I had been putting off and went for another vigorous walk. Each walk only lasted 15-20mins but they did the trick.

At the moment, I'm worst at the beginning of the day. I'm waking earlier than usual but the sooner I get active the sooner I start to feel better. I find having a cup of tea before midday doesn't help me so I've been having peppermint tea in the mornings which I find is great for settling the jitters/anxiety because it settles my stomach. I also have several puzzle books at hand as I find a crossword helps me to concentrate and focus, plus it's helping with my poor memory. I've also lost count of how many jigsaws I've done. In the early days when I was waking at 3am, I found it very soothing and relaxing to sit in the garden (wrapped up very warm) and listen to the birds waking up without the noise of the traffic. Whilst you're so ill wth tonsilitis I wouldn't suggest it.

You'll find your own coping strategies that will work for you the majority of the time, you may find that it comes as an urge or a craving - you just "need" something in particular at a certain time. Go with it, find your distraction and relax into it.

Importantly, REMEMBER that you're feeling worse than you may have done normally because of the tonsilitis, it's awful to suffer with at the best of times because you feel groggy before you knew you had it, during the flare up and after the obvious symptoms have gone.

You're gonna get there, we all are

[littlepixie]

Just wanted to say I totally understand how you are both feeling and thank you for sharing those feelings. I'm taking fluoxetine and have been for three weeks now (along with propanolol). I am starting to feel better, but the last few weeks have not been easy! I feel positive though and more in control, hearing that other people have had similar experiences has really reassured me

[lauz_lea]

Hi littlepixie, I'm glad you've fund NMP. We're all here for much the same reasons - answers, understanding, people to share our experiences with, empathy etc.

I read some peoples posts and am thankful that I'm not as bad as others, but likewise, read some and am very jealous at other peoples progress.

The initial side effects can be very disheartening because everything becomes a struggle in one way or another. I've heard that those who suffer the worst benefit the most. I don't know how true this is, but time will tell for us all I guess.

Sometimes, ignorance is bliss because reading some posts can cause more fear and doubt and make us search for side effects that we may never have noticed, or would have never thought was a side effect and therefore coped with it easier. But the opposite is also true, sometimes having an understanding of what the meds are doing makes the side effects easier to deal with.

One thing we all have in common is we all just want to get better and be our normal selves again, living life to the full. We'll endure feeling 100 times worse in the short term if we feel 1000 times better in the long run - and we will.

When I look back to how I felt 2 weeks ago I don't feel anywhere near as bad as I did, but the journey isn't over yet and I just have to find ways to cope with the side effects I'm still experiencing. I'm only on week 4 (and I had to check that on my calendar because I honestly thought it had been longer than that) and I'm not up to my full dose yet, but it gives me hope and encouragment to stick with it.

[sickandtired]

Friday ;day 11 (i think) on fluoxetine
well, had a better nights sleep,no tingly feelings,but did wake once and was absolutely drenched in sweat .....i must have been tired ,as i simply rolled over and went back to sleep.usually when i wake,that is it,anxiety sets in and i have to get up,but i managed to sleep till 6am.still got up with those dreaded feelings but told myself the quicker i get moving,the better.Had a shower and cup of tea,forced half a piece of toast down......appetite still none existant.Im sometimes only managing a piece of toast for breakfast and a sandwich for dinner.Im not worried about my weight though as I have a few stone to shift anyway,but i hope i can manage my Xmas dinner next week!! especially as my lovely Mum is cooking.I usually do alot of cooking for extended family,but Ive been selfish this year and said No.....I need to get well,and I dont need the added pressure of wondering wether i have enough carrots and sprouts!!!! or even getting wound up about left overs....that annoys me immensley.I need to learn to RELAX!!!
thanks for the replies .....it really does give me the extra push

[lauz_lea]

So glad you had a better nights sleep. Did the shower and moving about help ease the jittery/anxiety feelings? Just keep reminding yourself it's adrenaline (when we get anxious our body prepares for the fight or flight so produces the adrenaline as a natural survival instinct). I was a bit lax this morning I must say. I've had a couple of nights where I have been able to stay awake until 9:30pm but I'm still waking up at about 5am. But rather 5am than 3am. Had a fairly hazy day today but I'm putting some of that down to having a really horrid cold and being really congested. I was also a bit worried about my mum and dad visiting but I always am.

Anyway, here's to more good days

[sickandtired]

The early morning shower did help,definitely (thank you)....though I had to really,really push myself to do it.....I like long hot baths usually,lol
my appetite is returning somewhat as I made the kids tea and actually thought "mmmm I could just eat that." Ive just had a potato cake and feel full already....so weird!! I could usually eat a full pack and be trawling the cupboards for more!
In all,had an ok day even though my shopping trip was a disaster.
hope you too have more good days ,than bad x