It's since I got with my boyfriend, I enjoy him being with me, I like spending time with him as it makes me happy.
However I feel very depressed when he's not here, be it at work or even just visiting friends.
He's helped me so much on the rocky road to hopefully recovery, my 5-htp seems to help as well but I'm inconsolable when I'm alone now.

I've just spent the past 4 hours in tears wondering what to do, it's very reminicent of my darkest days of depression...

Now me being me I've already googled this, and seen there is a thing called monophobia. I have no issues with argophobia though, which seems to be closely related. I just don't feel safe on my own, I feel abandoned. I don't know if it's maybe because my brains associating him leaving with when other guys in the past have left me? I know I'm going to end up pushing him away :( I only told him because I wanted to tell him how I was feeling rather than bottle it up but he seems so fed up of my problems, he told me he wished I would just snap out of it. I want to as well but I just can't.
I feel maybe if we had our own place rather than him just staying at mine (I have my own flat) that somehow it would be better as all the inbetweeny bits where he's near his mates and stuff would be near me.
I really don't know what to do, this on top of my really bad back which has isolated me for at least the next 2 weeks and my nightmare neighbour whos friends are wrecking this block of flats make me feel scared and uncomfortable to be in my own home.
I have my cat, and I'm glad I do right now otherwise I'd fear I'd go totally mad. He's agreed to come back here tonight after all, but I worry that he'll turn round and say he's staying at home, have I totally lost the plot now? arghhhhh