Anyone who has read any of my threads will know that I worry about going to far from home, going on motorways, planes & trains, I worry about being trapped. However, I wonder if sometimes these fears could be a form of OCD. For instance, my fear about being trapped on an airoplane for 9 hrs is not that I'm going to crash. I fear that I am going to go crazy & try to get off the plane, this is my underlying fear - that I am going to lose it & try to open the door putting everyone on board at risk. My fear on the motorway is being trapped in a traffic jam & then losing it & doing something really risky like run over to the other side of the motorway to get out of situation & then get run over. My fear about being trapped in an elevator is that I am going to go crazy & lose control of myself & harm myself or others in an attempt to get out. The reason I hate heights is that I am terrified that I am going to lose control of myself & jump - or worse throw my kids over a balcony or whatever. If I am near water & worry that I might throw myself in or throw someone else in.
I know that I can be obsessive about things. The other night my husband was looking for his passport - it was very late at night & I had just gone to bed. I thought I knew where they were but when I looked in that place they were not there. He said it did not matter, he would look the next night for them. However, I knew that our holiday was 4wks away so I got it into my head that I HAD to find those passports immediatley. Hence, at midnight I started tearing my room apart looking for them. He was angry & said it could wait. Even though I knew he was right I HAD to find those passports right there & then. After about 15 mins I did - then I was able to go to bed. A coupld of days ago I was on a school trip ( I am a classroom assistant). I was to take a group of 7 children to another area for them to play basketball. There were hundreds of kids at this place, not just our school. The teacher gave me the list of the 7 children plus her mobile number at the school before we left. From that moment until & had to take the kids I constantly had to check that I had that list. I put it in my bag, but every minute or so HAD to check that it was still there, that I had not lost it. I do this at the airpot too with the plane tickets & passports. EVERY minute or so I check that they are still in my possession. It drives my husband & kids crazy. Last yr my friend was with us & she has commented to me that she could not believe the amount of times I checked my tickets & passports. ( I take this from my mum, that is what she was like at the airport when I was young).
Anyway, the point I am trying to make is - maybe my panic, anxiety & phobias is based on OCD? Maybe I have both? Maybe it does not matter? Then again maybe it does because in the past I have always been treated for panic & anxiety not OCD. Would this make a difference?
I would love to hear your comments.