Low self esteem thanks to crooked jaw

[boy]

I'm a regular poster in the health anxiety forum but I feel strongly enough about this to post in this section. I'm nto sure if it's right but I saw other people talking about themselves so I felt it right to air this once.

I used to think I was a decent looking chap because, as I'm sure all parents do, my parents told me I was.

Then I got self-conscious about my crooked teeth. I suffered for about 18 months, during which time I also noticed my nose is generously sized. While not massive, it's hardly a model's nose.

Last October I cracked and asked my mum for braces. She said of course and wanted to make me happy, and the next mont they went in. I have ceramics that are so unnoticeable one of my friends didn't notice them til last week.

Unfortuantely, a few weeks later I noticed a new source of shame. I jaw is tilted, or crooked, whatever. Thanks to years of **** teeth the joints have become compressed so now I look utterly stupid. My self-consciousness about my nose evapourated as soon as I made this discovery.

It's not that obvious in the mirror, which surely must be an accurate portrayal of how people will perceive me. Unfortunartely, in photos it's extremely obvious.

My self-esteem is nearly zero as I'm sure everyone I meet notices immediately. I'm sure it puts girls off too. I'm 19 in a couple of months and I've never had a girlfriend; in fact I've never kissed a girl. There are 5 year olds who have had more action than me.

The amazing thing is the first thing my orthodontist did was X-ray and photograph my jaw, then conclude it was fine there and then and set about arranging my braces. I always hated my smile but couldn't put my finger on why mine never looked quite right. The eyes of the beholder have a funny way of imaginging perfection and concealing the flaws of their owner.

Does anyone else have a wonky jaw and do they have any encouraging stories they could share? I need this, I'm crying about it as I type.

[trac67]

Hi boy,

What you have to remember is no-one is perfect we all have parts of us that we don't like, and that we are all different, it is what makes us the people we are. You have to accept the way that you are, and learn to be happy with it, not everything in life is about the way you look, personality counts for a lot more in a genuine persons eyes.

Learn to like yourself and then others will like you for the person that you are too.

Take care
Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

[Daisybun]

I agree with trac, we all have things about us that we do not like, but to everyone else they wouldn't notice! They just don't see that. As we grow older our looks change anyway - so if it's all about looks that would be sad but thankfully it isn't its about who we are inside. I know you feel low at the moment but look inside yourself and see what you have to give, you are a unique individual, there is no-one else like you, you have a special purpose and you are of worth you just need to realise it.

Take care
Daisybun

'This too will pass'

[godsdarcangel]

hey boy,

i too have a crooked jaw as a result of a car accident just before i began my freshman year of high school. i graduated a couple weeks ago and i just found out a few days ago from talking to a cousin whose husband is in dentistry that that is the cause of it. ive always been really self conscious about it when it comes to pictures too because it IS noticable. and embarassing... it just makes you look dumb i guess.

my teeth have always been fabulous, ive never needed braces or anything in the least bit, but those few seconds ****ed everything up for what SHOULD have been my model-worthy smile.

the dentist has always asked me to bite down so they can look at it, probably because they notice it more than anyone, but they've never said anything about it, or that i should get it fixed somehow. however, id like to. but i think they only way they could do it is by a surgery of some sort.

does your jaw feel like it pops out of place on one side if you open it really wide? yeah, id like to get that fixed too...

so just so you know, you're not the only one dealing with this.

best wishes.

[boy]

I wonder why my orthodontist and dentist have never said anything? Looking back at pictures I've had this since I was 10 at least! :s And you're right, it is only correctable by surgery, If I come into money, I'll get that done privately.

Although on a happier note, I've now had my first kiss and she's extremely hot. She's a model and I'd have though she was out of my league. We'll be taking it further too... so maybe it's not a hindrance afterall?

Also, there are lots of famous people with this; Elvis being the most famous I think. And look how much female adulation he got I have also noticed quite a number of models in big pictures on the wall of fashionable clothes shops with this.

[clickaway]

Congratulations on your catch, boy! One for success stories, perhaps?

My upper and lower jaws are out of alignment, but I don't think it alters my looks. But I don't like showing my teeth..

Interestingly, I am put off by so-called 'perfect' women. Maybe its my cynical nature that tells me that they may have some kind of surgery. That's why you'll never see me dating a celebrity lol.

And yes, remember looks are only skin deep. Fortunately, those with even severe deformities still find love. It's all around...



Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[Wannabeloved85]

Not heard anything from you in yonks!! How is all? so you have a problem getting action huh? you can join my club!!!! Im 21 soon and i have no action! never had action! Infact the 14 year old neighbour has more than me! shes pregnant! Isnt it just terrible?! actually no! This used to bother me for ages! infact i was so obsessed with getting no loving attraction, i had no anxiety! my mind was else where! But im not the only person my age to not have relationships. Theres many reasons why people dont, illness's, religion, simple choice! Dont let it bother you, at all! besides if you ask me, i think when the time comes, it wont even be an issue! Age is just a number, theres no rule saying virginity has to be 'lost' by the time your 17 or 18. When it happens, it happens.
Becci x

[susie]

argh you poor love, listen none of us is perfect, you really must try and like yourself for who and what you are because you are special , one day you will find a girl who will like you for you warts andall .enjoy life you deserve to, big hugs to an handsome boy sue

[mia0621]

You probably think things look worse than they do. Sometimes we are our worse critic. do your thoughts of how bad you "think" you look make you an introvert, or are you still outgoing? Maybe it's you who shys away from others. If people think you don't want to be bothered, they won't approach you. I have one jaw that is a little different too. Never heard anybody mention it. It is really not noticible to others. Only if I point it out do others notice. No one looks exactly the same on one side as they do on the other. My daughter said she has one side of her face different too. I never noticed that either! Once you have dental work (particularily extractions)your face shape can be altered. I am sure there are millions of people with crooked faces and that we don't notice. There are people that are still considered attractive, even though they have a slightly large nose. Some of those people are movie celebrities. It's all about how you feel about yourself.

[boy]

Well yea it's the fear of people thinking "who's that ugly git flirting with me?" (basically rejection) that makes me an introvert. Every time I read a gossip mag I see how many people have what I have. The highest profile one I saw recently was Heather Mills. And she's a model! So maybe it's not that much of a hindrance. I do notice that if I act more confident people warm to me. What you said about people not approaching if they think someone looks like they don't want to be approached is absolutely right. I'll work on it I guess.