Can CBT help anyone no matter what the problems are?

[alecc]

I wonder is CBT really that great?
I talked with someone who also had CBT about my problems and he always kept telling me I had "distortions" and need to do CBT and so on. I asked him what my distortions are and he couldn't or wouldn't tell me.

My issue with CBT is how does a therapist even want to know what a distortion is? For example if someone is physically sick and depressed and his entire situation (family,health,job) only gets worse all the time and he simply feels totally pessimistic simply because he sees how everything only gets worse and that there also is nothing to look forward to and also no hope for things simply getting people then where exactly is the distortion?
Imagine you buy a car and this car shows continually more and more signs of falling apart and you worry that this car will soon be totally broken then how is that a distortion? It's not. Then why should it be a distortion if a person whose situation only gets worse and there is no hope for it getting better is depressed and hopeless? For example when your health only gets worse over the time and you get more and more stuff which you cannot even treat then how could you not be depressed and worried?

If the therapist tells such a person that his situation isn't really as bad as he thinks it is then he can impossibly know this. He is not the one who's right in the middle of it. He could either simply estimate the situation of the person incorrectly and belittle it or he could simply think it's not that big of a deal simply because he is not affected.
Things which do not affect you always don't seem like such a big deal to you simply because it's not you who is affected.

I really don't know if CBT is that helpful for people who have real issues and with real I mean stuff which isn't just caused by false thoughts. If a therapist would try to make me believe that I'm only depressed because I think false thoughts and that my situation isn't that bad then I'd be really pissed and angry.
Do CBTists really believe that no matter what your circumstances are you can always be happy even if you just lost your family in a car crash and now you're in a wheelchair and totally depressed and just want to die?
Would a CBTist really think that such a person can find a way to trick herself into being happy again simply by appreciating the "good things" in life, like the birds or a nice cup of coffee or sitting in the garden and relaxing?

If that's really it then I already know that this isn't gonna cut it for me cause I think that such advice are ridiculous and don't offer any hope or comfort to truly hurting people.
Imagine you're totally depressed and working in a job you hate and every day you think I'm not going to be able to go on with this much longer and you tell this to your therapist and he just tells you that you're dramatizing and that these are just thoughts and that all you have to change is your outlook then this doesn't mean that he is right. It could as well happen that you simply get a nervous breakdown and that you were right with thinking that you cannot do this much longer. How in the world does a CBTist want to know what's a distortion of reality and what is simply the reality itself? I think this sounds really arrogant.

This is like me telling a doctor: Doc, when I try to stand on one leg it hurts too much I cannot do this much longer.
And the doctor simply says: No, you can do this. It doesn't hurt that bad. You only think you cannot do it much longer.

Or maybe I don't understand CBT well enough in this case could you provide any examples of what a CBTist would say or do?

What if find arrogant about this whole thing is that it always implies that the reason for being depressed is you and that if the therapist
himself was in your situation he'd handle this much better and find ways to trick himself into being happy. I don't think this is very realistic.
What if a situation is simply so bad that not being depressed would be abnormal? Does CBt even acknowledge this or do they act like you
can always be happy even if you've just lost all limbs in a plane crash?

[mallan82450]

I don't think I've ever seen so many 'what ifs'. . . Not good for my recovery!

[evil monkey]

I don't think CBT is the right solution for everyone (because each persons situation/issue/starting point is different)

The way i took it.....say you are about to go out for a walk. You could either think "a plane might fall on me" and not go out. Or, the CBT might be able to help you think "the plane isn't going to fall on me". If you were in a wheelchair, I'd imagine, rather than repeating to yourself "I'm ok", it'd be better to go out and join a wheelchair basketball team or something ? but the CBT might be able to help you overcome the mental barrier of of hitting uneven paving slabs when you're getting to the wheelchair place

[annette1]

Hi Alec
My own experience tells me that CBT is not always the best choice for anxiety & depression. When I started therapy my psychologist said she wouldnt be doing cbt with me because my problems were trauma related & I needed to work my way through that first, but we may use some cbt strategies when i was in recovery. Two years later we did several sessions of cbt mostly to help me come to terms with my recovery & believe in myself to manage it.

[alecc]

Hello,
my problems is mainly fear and also depression.
I asked my therapist if trying to find a reason for the fears is helpful and he said that you can spend years and years talking about your fears and understanding them and still not be free from them. I think this could be right but at the same time I'd also like to talk about the fears themselves but on the other hand if I talk about them then this already makes me feel bad and drags me down and if at the same time he cannot offer solutions then I end up feeling even worse than before. That's why I don't even know if therapy is good for me or if it's dangerous.
I could imagine that CBT works for daily situations like for example when you fear something might happen and then later on you see that you fear wasn't justified cause what you feared did not happen. But what if you are afraid of a certain event and ONLY afterwards you will know if your fear was right or not? For example if I fear failing in the decisive exams then only afterwards I can know if this fear was justified or not. I don't know how CBT could help me with that.
What could a CBTist say to someone who feels like his life depends on the outcome of exams which then determine his whole life? Being told stuff like even if you fail then life still goes on doesn't help me because failing is no option. My family also tells me that I have to make it and that if I failed it would all be over because then everything is ruined.
Or what could a CBTist say to someone who is simply totally depressed because of being sick and he simply cannot just get over it or deal with it? If I could simply get over my sickness I'd have managed to do this in all those years but I am being dragged down by it again and again. I cannot simply get over it and just accept it. Being told stuff like simply accept it doesn't work for me. I don't know if it works for others but I cannot do it. I simply cannot get over it. Whenever I am being reminded of it I become depressed and I cannot even ignore it because I am reminded of it all the time. It's different if you have something internal which you do not see or notice and you can try to suppress it or if the stuff you have cannot be ignored and you're reminded of it all the time.

[evil monkey]

hmm fear of exams I'd say is almost a good fear, because it's half-under your control. revision Exams r important, but there's always resits and I'd say that even if the job doesn't happen right now, you could always try it again in a couple of years time, so 'the next 2 hours' isn't the be all for the rest of your life. but that's cool in a way he said you could talk about them forever and still not get the result, because he's kind of talked himself out of some of his retirement money....lol. The sickness you're feeling mayyy becaused by say, the idea of exams determining your entire life, once you can change in your head that idea, the sickness that goes along with it might waver. I mean being concerned about your future is a fairly good healthy thing....if you weren't bothered about it, you'd be on jeremy kyle or something

[alecc]

Hello,
I am talking about final university exams which basically decide over years of studying and wether you finish with a diploma or wether you wasted years for studying something and then failing at the very end. I think this is totally inhumane. I just don't know how to deal with this pressure. For me it's basically as if everything depends on it. I cannot simply study something new. I am too old for that and also in way too bad shape. I couldn't go through years of studying again. The fear which I have isn't good it's totally paralyzing. Many times when I am learning in the evening and sitting in front of books I get this fear of not making it and this fear fells like losing everything. It's as if everything depends on it. And I not only think of me but also of the people who'd be disappointed and not just disappointed but who'd also suffer greatly if I failed. There is so much attached to this. My parents worry about me and this only increases the pressure. I feel like everything depends on me and wether I make it. It's really as if not just my life but also their lives depend on me and wether I make it because if I didn't then they'd get totally upset and suffer and I can't tell what would happen then. It feels as if I'm on a difficult mission and I know that not only my life but also the lives of others depend on wether I succeed or not.

[NoPoet]

Hi, I was going to start a thread asking advice about preparing for CBT but this thread caught my attention straight away.

I've been having counselling since approximately April. I was having weekly sessions for months, then eventually went 2-weekly. The counselling was tremendously helpful and gave me some of the backbone I needed to stay out in the world. However I was back on the cit at 20mg and I was doing a lot of self help. People noticed a dramatic difference in my personality and behaviour and I no longer feel like the victim when colleagues make jokes at my expense; instead I feel a deep sense of trust and respect towards them which they obviously appreciate.

However, as my recovery gathered full steam, I started to hit problems that counselling couldn't help me with. I admit that one or two relationships have been spoiled by my anxiety and I am very lucky my current girlfriend has had similar issues in the past, otherwise this blip would have killed our relationship.

I'm also untidy and disorganised. My room is a metaphor for my way of life: a cluttered mess leaving no room for manoeuvre. I am frequently late, I procrastinate to the point where it's ridiculous and my entire life is ruled by fear of the dreaded "what ifs".

The fact is, my issues are and always have been behavioural problems. Counselling cannot change this. nor can it help me to cope with stress. As someone correctly said earlier in this thread, you can talk about your fears until the end of time, but for people like us, talking often changes very little; there comes a time when you simply must DO something.

CBT, by contrast to counselling, is about taking control of your thoughts (and therefore your behaviour and emotions).

Therefore, if you simply need guidance and support to navigate through a difficult time, counselling may be better; if you need to make changes to your way of life, then CBT seems like the right choice.

[alecc]

Hello,
I also procrastinate a lot and it's mainly because I don't like what I have to do and at the same time I am also afraid of work because whenever I deal with a book or an article I have to read I fear not understanding it and then freaking out. Do you also have this? I always have this fear which I have to overcome. This sucks.

[cece]

Alec,
A lot of the stuff you describe are classic thinking distortions that indeed do cause anxiety. I hear you blowing things out of proportion and sense a tad bit of perfectionism in you and both of those things are recipes for anxiety disorders.
CBT works great if you are willing to work hard and face your fears head-on. Many people are too fearful to leave their comfort zone which is what ironically is the cause of much of their anxiety in the first place.
CBT has literally saved my life, but I was ready to try anything when it crossed my path.
Good luck to you and I hope you find some relief soon