Anxiety? How do you control it? Can you control it?

[zombie]

I've struggled with anxiety for most of my adult life, I'm 50 now and I recon I first started to have anxiety/panic in my late teens. I've basically coped with it by avoidance. I've made excuses to avoid nights out, meals, holidays you name it. I struggle quite badly in social situations (I manage if they're close friends) but something like a night out clubbing of football match would be a "no-go"

I'm terrible with travel, if I told you the last time I managed a holiday you wouldn't believe me.

just over two years ago it all came to a head when I got made redundant, then picked up a very bad kidney infection that floored me. I ended up in hospital following a horrific panic attack. I was diagnosed as being depressed/anxious and stuck on Citalipram, which was horrid. Over the past 12 months or so I've weaned myself off the medication and have felt as good as I generally get.

BIG problem is I've just managed to find a little job that I'm due to start in the New Year, but I can feel the anxiety/dread building already. Problem is to begin with there's a few days training 60-70 miles away, with a room full of strangers. It's basically my worst nightmare all rolled into one. Thing is a job is a job, and I desperately need to get back into work.

So how do I do it???

I'm sure many of you have been there, it's starts with a random thought that pops into your head that becomes a torrent of dread. I can't sleep, heart pounds, I run to the loo, uncontrollably, feel dizzy and shakey.

As it's all in my head there must be a way to trick it into not being so severe or turn it off. Millions in the same situation just do it. So it must be down to how I'm thinking. There must be an "Off-switch" somewhere. Where do I look for it?

Are there any good books that may help? Anyone tried hypnotherapy?

My first post so be gentle..

[Rod]

I know what you are saying as it has happened to me, unfortunately there is no off switch and looking for one can actually make it worse. The ones that appear to turn it off are the ones who lose the Fear of the thoughts and feelings. Once the Fear is lost the thoughts and feelings no longer matter.

Treat all the symtoms the same and that is just a symptom of Anxiety, nothing more. Its just your body being tricked by very sensitised nerves.

Try and stay in the moment and what I mean by that is when you do get the thought or feeling that seems to trigger your anxiety try not to add to it by imagining what you think will happen, just let the thought or feeling be there.

Know that you may well feel anxious as the time gets closer, but that you will be ok. You probably know by now that avoidance isnt an answer but facing it is even if this means having to use medication at first.

Claire Weekes is a good read for Anxiety. Self Help for your Nerves is one of her books. CBT for panic is also very good, there is a link on this site. http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthr...ight=cbt4panic

[scottishxlass]

hi once u have anxiety, u will always have anxiety u can't cure it but u can settle it and i honestly think excersise and positivity is the only way to do that or constantly panicking til ur body gets used to it and decides for itself that its just anxiety i dont no why mine settled but i havent been near a&e for over a month now and i havent had a panic attack either doing things that leave no room for unwanted thoughts are the best, hobbies as such good luck pal! xx

[Mindful]

I have often wished there was an off button ..lol imagine that..

Go to that induction course, your anxiety will go with you, thats for sure. But hey, let it be there, let it do its worse. Take every 'what if' and turn it into a 'so what!'

Thats how you do it. ( easy said)

---------- Post added at 22:33 ---------- Previous post was at 22:25 ----------

I know what you are saying as it has happened to me, unfortunately there is no off switch and looking for one can actually make it worse. The ones that appear to turn it off are the ones who lose the Fear of the thoughts and feelings. Once the Fear is lost the thoughts and feelings no longer matter.

Treat all the symtoms the same and that is just a symptom of Anxiety, nothing more. Its just your body being tricked by very sensitised nerves.

Try and stay in the moment and what I mean by that is when you do get the thought or feeling that seems to trigger your anxiety try not to add to it by imagining what you think will happen, just let the thought or feeling be there.

Know that you may well feel anxious as the time gets closer, but that you will be ok. You probably know by now that avoidance isnt an answer but facing it is even if this means having to use medication at first.

Claire Weekes is a good read for Anxiety. Self Help for your Nerves is one of her books. CBT for panic is also very good, there is a link on this site. http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthr...ight=cbt4panic

Good post!

+1 to all of the above.

[zombie]

Cheers guys, I've sort of decided I'm on a mission!!!

I've struggled and let the anxiety either rule of modify my life for too long, I've just had enough, I've missed out on far too much of what life has to offer, been too inward looking. I've just read a little book that instantly stuck a chord with me. It's about self coaching and how anxiety stems from "habits" we develop through life. It's not particularly well written, but the ideas make a lot of sense. The gist of it is, many of the thoughts that make us anxious are simply false. It talks about time travel as a good metaphor, we let out mind either jump forwards and imagine 1000's of what-if, that simply don't exist outside our own head. Or travel backwards to a previous "attack" and attach those feeling to the now, again nothing to do with what "is", as has been mentioned above, about "trying" to live in the moment, not what was, or might be.

I think it's something I'm going to pursue, basically because it doesn't sound like witchcraft, it's about breaking habits. Now I'm sure it's not as simple as that, most of these habits I've had for 30 years or more so they feel part of me so are going to be very, very hard to spot or change. But I'm sure habits can be kicked just like smoking, given enough time and resolve.

[tomewer]

Hey zombie,

I'm seeing a lot of parallels with what I went through, so I feel your pain, but I also see that you might be at a turning point.

It was when I decided that I wasn't going to let anxiety/panic attacks rule my life that things started to get better. I had pretty much given up, but then I was overwhelmed by a wave of "I'm not letting this beat me!"

In my opinion, avoidance is the worst thing you can do. You have to confront situations (not necessarily the most terrifying thing at first - there's nothing wrong with taking baby steps), feeling those familiar sensations, but simply accepting that they will happen and rolling with it.

And I would strongly recommend cognitive behavioral therapy. It basically cured me.

It's a long, hard road, but you can beat it.

[zombie]

Hey zombie,

I'm seeing a lot of parallels with what I went through, so I feel your pain, but I also see that you might be at a turning point.

It was when I decided that I wasn't going to let anxiety/panic attacks rule my life that things started to get better. I had pretty much given up, but then I was overwhelmed by a wave of "I'm not letting this beat me!"

In my opinion, avoidance is the worst thing you can do. You have to confront situations (not necessarily the most terrifying thing at first - there's nothing wrong with taking baby steps), feeling those familiar sensations, but simply accepting that they will happen and rolling with it.

And I would strongly recommend cognitive behavioral therapy. It basically cured me.

It's a long, hard road, but you can beat it.

I certainly hope I'm at a "turning point" I've been out of work for a couple of years. I got made redundant and then my health let go. Which basically pushed my anxiety through the roof and tipped me into depression. Doc stuck me on Citalopram which was horrid to begin with but did help after a month or so.

I think the catalyst has been I've managed to find a little job, which is basically my "dream job" I wan it more than I've wanted anything in the past 15 years or so. I've sort of decided nothing is going to stop me doing it, and I will do whatever it takes to get there.

Avoidance has been my main defence for nigh on 30 years, if you can avoid it, you don't have to deal with it, which is pretty much how I've lived my life. I've created a nice safe bubble to live in, problem is I never noticed until I got made redundant just how small my bubble had become..

I'm off the Citalopram now, and I don't really want to go back on it, I don't feel its the right path forwards. I'm going to make an appointment to see the Doc, after xmas and give him the whole story warts and all, something I've never done before. I'll mention CBT and see what he has to say.

I like your idea of "little steps" something I have been thinking about. My ole mums been a bit poorly so I spent half a day yesterday outside my comfort zone at the local hospital. I was certainly anxious, I would say panicky, but certainly very uncomfortable and didn't sleep well. But I didn't lose it..

How long does it take for CBT to have an effect? or is that "How longs a piece of string?"

Thank you for the encouragement...
Z