Return to work anxiety

[Jonquil]

Hi,

I wonder if anyone has any wise words cos I could really do with some. I have GAD. One of the things that contributed to my anxiety levels becoming unmanageable was the pressure I was being put under at work to meet unrealistic deadlines by my then boss. Over the course of 2011 I have been getting better. In the autumn I changed jobs which was definitely a good move. Unfortunately because of an ongoing project I continue to have to have alot of contact with my previous boss and in a meeting just before Christmas she again started trying to force unrealistic timescales on my work. This has meant that over the Christmas I have started to feel stressed and anxious - particualrly as I am seeing her on 9th January and now I will not have done the work that she wants me to. I am not sure why but I do find it hard to be assertive with her -I feel that her manner with me approaches bullying at times- it is hard to deal with this when you are feeling vulnerable. I took some diazepam this evening which I haven't done for ages. I really have to sort this out as it is hindering my recovery and my quality of life - I need to be able to say no to her and make my own realistic deadlines but this is not easy- has anyone else any expereince of anything like this? How did you manage? Thanks J

[molkogirl]

Hi, Sorry to hear about what your going through. I dont really have any advice but i am going through a similar thing, been bullied at work. I have just walked out of my job because it got too much. I wouldn't recommend walking out though unless its your only option. Is there anyone higher than her you can tell? Maybe that will help. I know they say that 'nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent' but thats all well and good when you are feeling anxious, low and vunerable. i hope the situation can be sorted for you, its a horrible feeling to be bullied. Take care x
Sarah

[Jonquil]

Hi Sarah, Thanks so much for replying! I'm really sorry you are going through this too. I hope you find a new and happier job soon. I left my previous job largely to resolve this situation, but I hadn't really realised that my old boss was still going to be able to apply pressure to me in the way she is due to this ongoing project. However, I am feeling a bit better now than other evening. May be partly because I am less tired and also I was feeling stressed as I had not done much work over the holiday period so had not met the deadlines she set for this week. However, I had to spend alot of time travelling over Christmas to be with my Mum and Dad- my Mum just having finished radiotherapy for cancer. I have not told many people about my Mum's cancer but am now feeling that I am justified in saying that over this holiday period my family had to come first. I think I do need to be more assertive about what is realistic generally with her- at the end of the day, she doen't now have the power over me that she used to have as she cannot sack me. I just do, for some reason find it difficult to be assestive- she is a very forceful person. I guess part of the reason is because the situation with her did contribute in large part to my distress and increased anxiety in the period when I had to start getting treatment.

Sorry, this has been very waffley, but thanks again for you response. Happy new year. J x

[Jonquil]

Hi Nathalie, thanks for that- you are soo right. My new year's resolution should be too keep work in its place! J x