Should I sell my house to relieve pressure?

[eden.eden]

I am a single home owner (small terraced house) with small mortgage and decent amount of equity in the house. No dependents. Been self employed and struggling to make ends meet for a couple of years doing a job I hate and trying to find something else but not succeeding. I recently had to sign on for Jobseekers as no work on horizon (which doesnt give me enough to cover bills etc). Been struggling with depression for years but only recently asked for help from GP, 5 weeks into meds, (not seeing any improvement yet) and waiting for counselling later this month.

I have an overwhelming desire to escape from all the worry and responsibility, where to I don't know. I read an account in the newspaper the other day about a GP with depression who just upped and left his family and responsibilites and disappeared, and found myself envying him.

It keeps going round in my head that I should sell the house and with it all the need for an immediate job and I could just 'be' instead of feeling overwhelmed by responsibilites.

Rented accommodation would be more than double my monthly mortgage but without the long term ties. I have no relatives I could stay with. My 'sensible head' says it would be silly to do this but I've lived by 'sensible head' all my life and depressed is where it's got me.

I suppose my question is, will I feel differently further along with my treatment, should I stay put for now and ride it out? I feel totally rudderless, have no idea what type of work to aim/train for to make me happy, or where on the planet I want to live. I have good friends but feel dispassionate about them all.

[pinkdove]

Hi, so sorry you are feeling so bad just now, but it is early days on your meds.

I think you will gradually start to feel better in time, and the stress of moving house may not be advisable for you just now.

Why not give yourself a bit more time, and see how things go before making such a big decision just now.

You may feel completely different as you get better, and if not you can make that important decision when you feel stronger.

good luck x

[yewlandskid]

I went through something simular years ago, I decided to rent a room out. Initially I rented the attic out to a couple, who paid weekly, but eventually did a runner. Second time I was more careful asking around family and friends, I found a nice girl who rented a room of mine and it was good to have some company, although I would advise you have clear house rules in place and review them as you go. You should declare the income, but I guess this would help you over the short term.

[Angelai]

I agree with pinkdove - the upheaval of moving house might not be good for you right now. There is still time for the meds to lift you some more too. Also, think of the added pressure of finding rent that is double what you have to pay on your mortgage. I know you can get housing benefit, but the rates are quite low these days - good luck finding somewhere for the amount the benefit will pay! It's terrible.

My personal feeling is - if you can keep your house, then keep it. It's your future. If you remain on benefit for a while, you can apply for help with your mortgage (it used to be called mortgage support allowance, not sure if it still is). I would always say keep your house. I know it's a huge commitment, but you have good equity so selling will always be an option open to you in the future. I would hope prices won't go down any further!

That said - a friend of mine found herself alone, struggling to pay a mortgage when her partner left. The mortgage was £800 a month, she was earning £800 a month. She went without food and electric, got behind with the mortgage. She became very ill with depression and was then unable to work at all - she just wanted out. She discovered that she was only 2 months away from being able to move her mortgage, her payments would have come down to £300 a month. She was also only a couple of weeks off being able to claim mortgage support allowance, which would easily have covered the payments. Then, her ex decided she wanted money. There was very little equity in the house, and my friend had been paying the full mortgage on her own for over a year. However, in her very poor state, she didn't want the hassle, she didn't have the strength to fight over it. £5000 would have seen her out of trouble, got the mortgage up to date and paid for up until the new rate came in, her ex would have had the cash she wanted and my friend would have only her name on the mortgage, but she had had enough. She let the house go, her and her ex ended up with £3000 each. This was 2 years ago, and since then my friend has been the happiest I've ever known her. For 15 years she paid a mortgage, she struggled and went without. All that money, and now she lives hand to mouth doing a job she loves and living in a little housing association flat, with no savings or assets, and she is happy.

I have never had a mortgage, I have never been settled enough or earned enough. My big regret is that if I had bought a house years ago, there would now be enough equity in it to get me out of this cold, wet, parasitic country and off to somewhere warm, friendly and HAPPY - but I didn't and there isn't and I can't get out.