oh wow- so here I go down this long road again. Its been months since I have even had general anxiety. I had a panic attack friday. Now of course I am just scared of it happening again.
I put some undo pressure on myself that I thought I could handle. I guess not.
My son was flunking out of his school. We have placed him at the school I work at. It is a public school but out of the district that we live in. So that means a few things- if I don't work there then my son can't go there.
I love my job and they love me and I have 10 sick days if I need them. So if I freak at work I can leave. Problem is- that's great I can leave but I live 30min away. SO I could leave but would have to return to get my son. Crap! Friday it was at the end of the day. It was an hour before he would leave. SO I have to pick him up early. I can't do that every day.
Crap! I could ruin my sons school experience. I wonder if I should start my ativan again just until I get over it. i live in a town that survived a major disaster this year and I didn't even have to take any ativan for that! well mayb 0.125mg of one - I have taken a 1/4 of a 0.5mg pill once at christmas and once after the tornado. I thought I had this under control.
What had happened was this:
I was at work friday. I finished eating and it was about 30min. All of the sudden I felt a rush of sudden fear, my heart was racing like 114, my right side of the face was tingling, my right arm was shaking, BP normal. then my coworker showed up. my stomach started hurting. I left work in a panic. Went and picked up my son from school. Then I left- my sons first week at school- i picked him up early! I am pathetic!! I got home and had diarrhea. My stomach was so nauseated that I made myself puke. after that I felt better. Honestly- it could have been my lunch. I had a taco salad. It had lots of lettuce on it. I have IBS and I don't eat much lettuse. I ate it all. It actually tasted a little funny anyway. If you know that last year I had a fear of food. So I did start thinking about that since the lettuce tasted funny. Not bad just like guacamole or onions- which I don't either of. I just don't know. After I threw up I was much better. I wish I would have just thrown up at work and had diarrhea at work. I totally freaked out!!!! I was so scared that i was going to die. I knew I wasn't. I knew it was panic whether I was sick from the food or not. I worked myelf into a panic. Please help me out folks! I need reassurance!