I need some help please, i'm terrified

[mck]

Hi everyone,
I have OCD and i think derealization & depersonalization and i have been seeing a therapist and i had explained my fear to her of developing psychosis.
On our last meeting i told her of these unreal feelings & all these thoughts about reality & she told me it was all OCD and then some time last week she rang me and told me she had reffered me for an assesment with a psychiatrist, the psychiatrist just rang me to confirm the appointment and she said they deal withoung people have or may be developing psychosis! and iam terrified im psychotic now, i'm really annoyed with my therapist to be honest does she not realise shes just worsening my situation? I now have to wait until the 25th of january for this appointment where a doctor and this psychiatrist will come out to my house for an hour long visit.
I'm worried everything isnt justwhat if all my thoughts are psychotic thoughts? what if i do actually want to hurt people?
She told me ''not to worry'' oh yeah because thats going to help, i just cant believe shes actually done this.
My dad had psychotic depression last year and this is where all this fear stems from, i feel stupid for opening up & thinking i could actually trust her.
grrrrrr sorry about the rant lol
Mck

[lleksam]

I've been there my friend.

If I understand it right people in psychosis don't know they are as they believe or think their actions are rational and based in reality. Their thoughts don't cause them anxiety as to them they are normal thoughts.

I think your therapist might be sending you there for exposure and to get proper information which will benefit you.

I know it's hard as I'm battling my OCD demons at the moment but with CBT you can overcome OCD.

[Scared_11]

I think ur therapist sounds very uneducated when it comes to anxiety and depersonilisation!! As I have ready many of times people who are psychotic don't know that they are doing anything out of the ordinary! The are not aware they what they do or think is wrong!

I would maybe try and get another therapist. This is a fear a lot of on her have been through.

25th January will come around soon enough and maybe u will get some reassurance from them.

Take care

[Paniclissx]

please let me know how you get on (not because i think you have psychosis) because im EXACTLY the same! ive been suffering terribly with dream like feelings and feelings of unreality and feeling like im not part of the world, it is so SO scary. ive told my GP about it and she and several other doctors and a crisis team have all said that i absoulutly do not have psychosis or schizophrenia, not at all. BUT.. yesterday i went to see this stupid psychologist for an assessment ( i think i knew more about anxiety and mental health than she did!) and she said to me oh well i dont understand what you mean and she said well whats the worst that could happen if you go crazy, someone will do something about it eventually! she TERRIFIED me and made me much worse. she said it doesnt seem that you have schizophrenia but i guess i will know a bit more or not after ive seen you a few more times!! shes meant to be a qualified professional and she'd never heard of the feelings id been describing before ! i told her i was worried about my depersonalisation and i asked her if it was part of anxiety and she said hmm it can be but it can be more serious aswell!! I went back to my GP after id seen her and she couldnt believe it! what im always told is... you are aware that you have these strange feelings and that they are not normal and that they are odd but if you were to have psychosis, you wouldnt notice them to be different, they would be normal to you xx

[lleksam]

I did a number of tests for dissociation disorders. They came back negative but I do sometimes have depersonalization when stressed, Many people experience it from time to time. It is a sign of tired mind that is trying to escape the situation.

Many rape victims or victims of other trauma experience it, remember all those people saying it was like watching themselves or an outer body experience, well that's it.

[Conorm]

ah some stuff really does spike ya x

[william wallace]

Hi everyone,
I have OCD and i think derealization & depersonalization and i have been seeing a therapist and i had explained my fear to her of developing psychosis.
On our last meeting i told her of these unreal feelings & all these thoughts about reality & she told me it was all OCD and then some time last week she rang me and told me she had reffered me for an assesment with a psychiatrist, the psychiatrist just rang me to confirm the appointment and she said they deal withoung people have or may be developing psychosis! and iam terrified im psychotic now, i'm really annoyed with my therapist to be honest does she not realise shes just worsening my situation? I now have to wait until the 25th of january for this appointment where a doctor and this psychiatrist will come out to my house for an hour long visit.
I'm worried everything isnt justwhat if all my thoughts are psychotic thoughts? what if i do actually want to hurt people?
She told me ''not to worry'' oh yeah because thats going to help, i just cant believe shes actually done this.
My dad had psychotic depression last year and this is where all this fear stems from, i feel stupid for opening up & thinking i could actually trust her.
grrrrrr sorry about the rant lol
Mck

If you were psychotic you would'nt be capable of typing the above

[mck]

Thanks everyone for all your replies, i went to see my therapist on wednesday & she said she doesnt think i'm psychotic she thinks its just extreme anxiety & OCD but she is just doing it to make sure but she said she really doesn't think i'm psychotic :S .
So after that obviously my minds driving me crazy with all the what ifs!
She said its quite an odd obsession to be obsessed about reality & stuff so thats why aswell.
But thanks everyone
mck

[Conorm]

Really did she really say its odd to be wondering about reality!?!?, not being funny your therapist must not know much, why would hundreds of people here be posting because of the terror it causes, its all High anxiety and its horrible even people who dont have it as a main symptom have experienced it quite a bit, dont worry mate, your therapist obv dont know alot as it sounds like shes trying to scare you, we all have them worries everysingle person on here has told us its anxiety and its all over the internet..

take care mate

[lauz_lea]

You may also find this very helpful: http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk/depersonalisation_and_derealisation.html

YOU ARE NOT GOING MAD, but it is a maddening state to be in. Believe me, I've been there a few times.

I only found the above site last night but I read through pretty much all of it and it makes so much sense. The advice, pretty much being to cary on regardless is easier said than done, but I can certainly understand how it works. For example, yesterday I was out and about with my family, doing normal family things and had a great time, then realised I had been feeling fine and "normal" for a while and suddenly became very aware of myself, almost a heightened state of awareness of myself and my mind/thoughts. This subsided as I again became focused and involved on the fun at hand.

The author of the site has also written a book and a blog. The blog is great as there are many people on there getting through depersonalisation/derealisation. I am seriously considering getting this guys book.