Hi all,
My issue is not wanting to have to get to a bathroom while in any situation where it would draw a lot of attention.
Right before I got to middle school, I had an accident and wet my pants near the end of the school day. Not THAT big of a deal for a 4th grader, but it really scared me. I feel like this is where it all started. During 5th grade, I would ask the teacher if I could go to the bathroom in almost every class - I felt like I couldn't hold it anymore. Of course, my classmates noticed, and thought I was doing it to get out of class.
While it faded in a couple years, when I started high school it combined with a fear of throwing up in the classroom/public. Again, faded. My first year of college, it came back, but then I adjusted and also came out of the closet...so it faded again.
I've been fine for years, but recently had an event where I felt like I was going to throw up while driving home, and of course started to panic. I'm wondering if it's tied to recently losing a 2-yr relationship and being very overworked ... or if the car event just renewed the fear. I had to leave a restaurant last night because my stomach was bothering me from being empty, and then I started to worry I was going to get sick, so I panicked.
I tell myself to calm down, it's all in my head. But then that nagging little thought hits where I think "Maybe in this case I do actually have flu/food poisoning/etc and really am going to throw up" and I can't shut that off. I just don't want to allow this to escalate to the point where I'm afraid to go anywhere I can't easily get to a bathroom.