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Thread: OCD and dating. Your experiences!!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
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    OCD and dating. Your experiences!!!

    Hi to everyone.

    I wondered how others get on with relationships, dating and meeting new partners with OCD. Did you find it really hard to explain this confusing and frustrating condition?

    I am not in a relationship at the moment but in the past it did create a lot of difficulties. I am quite happy being single right now but wonder how I would ever explain all this to someone if I did happen to meet someone in the future. I suppose I would just be interested to hear other peoples' experiences. Thankyou Ellie.

  2. #2
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    Sep 2011
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    Re: OCD and dating. Your experiences!!!

    Are you male or female? Reason I ask is you sign yourself Ellie but your profile says you are male. Any Ellie's I ever met were females called Eleanor
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  3. #3

    Re: OCD and dating. Your experiences!!!

    Ellie.
    I once dated someone with OCD. At that time I was quite a happy balanced person. The woman I was dating admitted to me about the OCD and how for her it was linked to stress. Her OCD was 'hidden', happened behind closed doors, and I think I was the first person who had ever witnessed it. It related to being obsessive about her Kitchen and she had to do everything therein. I guess as a chap, one might say 'Wahey' and leave her to it,and the endless rituals. For me, I wanted to share all aspects of our lives, and to be shut out from helping or even doing something of my own in the kitchen ( I do quite like to cook ), and ultimatelky to be shut out completely, was incredibly hurtful.

    In her case, I believe it was a manifestation of stress that she declined to recognise. In my case, I understood that it was a release for her, but ultimately it was self defeating, rather than recognising and dealing with what was causing her stress, I believe it 'leaked out' and manifested itself as OCD.

    Ultimately her stresses led to the breakdown of our relationship as she declined to comes to terms with her issues, notwithstanding the unconditional love and support I gave her.

    In reality, we all of us can only come to terms with our issues either when we are ready, or when circumstances force us to stop, turn and face our demons and meet them head on.

    That you recognise the OCD is huge. It has an impact on partners, and a loving supportive partner wil not 'judge', but will offer support to help you combat it.

    To say 'I have OCD, deal with it' to a partner, is in my experience, hurtful, as it is an issue over which they have no control, only you can combat it, and beat it.

    If you are happy as a person with OCD who is single - then crack on. If you want a relationship and have OCD, well relationships are about growing and developing as an individual and sharing as a couple. OCD introduces an element of stress into the relationship, and may ultimately contribute to its breakdown.

    Your choice ...........

    Best

    Patrick

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    191

    Re: OCD and dating. Your experiences!!!

    Hi Ellie, I don't have much to contribute I have just been diagnosed with OCD but I have been with my boyfriend 4 years so I don't think it will make any difference to our relationship. The anxiety Is affecting it more! I only have OCD thinking though and not the rituals. OCD thread tend to get less replies because not many people have it on here.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
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    88

    Re: OCD and dating. Your experiences!!!

    I am totally confused as to why I have been put down as male.....last time I checked am definitely female!!!!! Thanks for all the replies...Ellie. Will try to find the edit funtion to change my gender....thanks for letting me know

    ---------- Post added at 19:42 ---------- Previous post was at 19:34 ----------

    I also really think it depends on the severity of the OCD. Some people have it very severely, others mild and it all involves different aspects so affects people's lives differently. I am happy on my own so at the moment it isn't an issue about dating and explaining and I suppose if I did meet someone then I would gradually try to explain it. The way I see it is we all have things in life that we do that can annoy and irritate someone, the key I think is taking responsibility for yourself because it can be extremely unfair to put them onto others. That is another reason why I prefer being single right now.

  6. #6
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    Re: OCD and dating. Your experiences!!!

    No bother Ellie, it probably explains why you never got the replies you hoped for
    __________________
    Least said, soonest mended

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
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    88

    Re: OCD and dating. Your experiences!!!

    Thanks yeah you are probably right there!!! Think I was having a strop day when I posted thread about not getting much feedback!!!

    ---------- Post added at 19:58 ---------- Previous post was at 19:46 ----------

    Thanks for your message Patrick and sorry that you had a bad experience with a partner who had OCD. I would never say to someone "I have OCD...deal with it" to anyone that is grossly unfair. I think it's best to get it out into the open, obviously not when you first meet someone but if you do meet someone and feel it is going somewhere then it's best to be as open as you can. Some people will always have OCD traits, some mild and some more serious and that is a major factor in how you can sustain a relationship. It's a really tricky thing, sometimes you can work through things together and sometimes it will break up relationships. Wish there was an easy answer.

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