Please help!!!!

[natalier]

I just don't know what to do anymore.... I started getting panic attacks and have anxiety when I just turned 16 ( I am not turning 21 this year), after a trauma happened in my life. I have tried everything... tablets, hypnotherapy, CBT, counselling, relaxation/diet/exercise, italk programme... like everything and it gets a tiny bit better (as in I can go to uni alright - which is 15 min drive, and go to town but nothing more) and then it gets worse like now when I can't seem to do much, feel so low and depressed. like my parents are going on holiday and want me to come along but it is just a massive no no as cant imagine it :( I wanna visit my family who all live in Austria but cant, I wanna visit my friends at uni who are in their last year but can't. Also, once I qualify, I don't even know if I can do my job (primary teacher) Standing in front of classroom and teaching fine... but what about school trips and residentials :S err I just feel so lost and alone and down and anyone who could help me... even help me see a bit greener would be great! thanx..

[Jonquil]

Hi there,

I'm sorry things don't seem to be getting better. I guess that the first thing to say is that things can and will get better but it may take time and be an up and down process. In that process you will find things that help and things that don't. Use the things that help. One of the resources that we do have is each other. Although you may feel alone, you are not. For many years ( I have had problems with anxiety for 30 years, since I was a teenager) I thought that no one else had anxiety like me and that some how I was quite abnormal. In fact neither of us are abnormal- many people struggle with anxiety and we are able to give each other good support, whether it is here or in other places. Also I find it interesting that you are not worried about standing up in front of a class of children (this would make many non anxious people very anxious) but you have focussed on the one thing that you do feel anxious about- going on trips. And actuallly it may well be that once you are in a job and confident about the children and the people who you work with, this will be much less of a problem. For now, I wonder whether you could set yourself some small goals for things to do that are attainable and enjoyable (not going to Austria!) and then just slightly increasing the challenge of these very slowly just so you feel as though you are doing a little bit. Could you maybe link these in with doing some voluntary work with children, which would support your goal of becoming a primary school teacher?

Hope some of this might be a little help! Jx

[natalier]

Yeaah... It was only like last yhear that i have founs out that people are simillar yto me.. though i still sometimes feel like they can't be feeling the same as they still do stuff etc... but yeah I did used to think I was th eonly one and was so lonely and felt crazy. it is so odd! but i have taught 30 children without an adult in the room and so calm. *tough wood* never get a poanic attck when i n school and teachign the kids. Was in a school today where i didn''t knoqw... journy was awful but once i got there and was infront of children teaching them maths was so calm and no anxiety at all.. the min I am in staffroom or not with the children it comes bk again. i dunno why that is.. but guess it shows i have taken the right job! and yeah i will try and take small steps it is just somtimes hard.. like took the train to town to test myself (15 misn journy) and was awful and it's just like not fair.. b ut yeah. xx

[Jonquil]

You are doing really great- you are still going in to school, you are fine when you are teaching and by the sound of it are good at it. And you are not letting the hard bits like having to go to the staff room stop you from going in to school. Wow! I really believe that you can get through this. One of the things that I have found over the years is that I have learnt to live with my anxiety and even maybe start to use it to my advantage. I have quite a demanding job and my doctor has said to me that one of the reasons why I am good at my job is because I do get anxious and that I should try, when I start to feel stressed, to use it the stress to motivate me to do a good job. Not always easy, but worth trying? Might motivate you to keep on trying with those difficult journeys? x x

[natalier]

Yes good point. i mean yeah anxiety has been good, cause like it has made me a stronger perosn and also met people through it but when it gets bad you feel so like iosolated and down and it is difficult to go places but I wanna move out this summer... only like 20 mins away but i really think that might help? cause whenever i go anywhere it's always me thinking up escape routes to go home. do you ever have that? xxx

[Jonquil]

Yes, abit. when I'm really anxious I think everything through very very carefully and try and work out every might be and what I will do if each possible might be happens. I know what you mean about anxiety making you stronger, and you will get stronger. I hope that my anxiety has also made me more sensitive to others and how they are feeling. Might be good to move out this summer if you are ready. Twenty minutes from home is not actually far so might be a good start... Jx

[CONS]

Accept it as part of you.

Start taking yourself out of comforting, controlled, safe settings, then face the fear and push past it, when you do this there is nothing more to do, the body will adjust itself.

All the best